


Perfect: A Tooru Oikawa Fanfic

by ninaflightning



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aobajousai, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Flirting, High School, Kitagawa Daiichi, Light Angst, Mentor/Protégé, Original Character(s), Practice Games, Romance, Shiratorizawa, Side Story, Slow Burn, Volleyball, joining the team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:06:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29079822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninaflightning/pseuds/ninaflightning
Summary: "Quitting was maybe the worst mistake I ever made."Katsumi Akiyama is an ex-volleyball player who quit after constantly being shut down on the court and never feeling like she was good enough, swearing she wanted to forget about the sport until attending Tooru Oikawa's last middle school volleyball game. Two years later, she's a second year Aoba Johsai girls volleyball player, a Libero who's looking to earn her place on the starting lineup and the perfect trust of her teammates. Under the guidance of a new mentor, can Akiyama become the guardian Aoba Johsai needs?How will the story of Katsumi Akiyama, her friends, and her rivals mesh and intertwine with the established characters and story of Haikyuu? You'll have to read to find out.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Kyoutani Kentarou, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio & Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru & Aobajousai Volleyball Club, Oikawa Tooru & Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 5





	1. First Sight

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys! Thank you so much for deciding to take a look at my first fan fiction. I expect that many of you guys are from my TikTok (ninaflightning). I greatly appreciate you guys coming to check my story out. Aside from being here to thank you, I just want to make some clarifications and forewarnings before you get into the story. It will be short. First of all, this is not an x reader. I just want to clarify that right from the get go. Honestly, I wanted to give the MC a specific personality and for that purpose I felt a specific name was also necessary. Katsumi Akiyama is one of many OC's, and I can't wait for you guys to meet all of them and see how their stories intertwine with the established world of Haikyuu. Second, this story at this stage is subject to constant correction. I likely made many mistakes, and I will have to leave these early chapters as is at some point, but this is not that point. I won't be changing major plot details (hopefully), but I'll be working on improving the writing and descriptions. I just reread over the first chapter, and I'm already seeing corrections I would like to make. For now, this story is in its beta mode, and I encourage you to be patient with me... but also feel free to be on my back about making sure I see this through to the end. Lastly, I just want to forewarn everyone that this story has a bit of a slow start. The first five chapters are entirely there to set up back story and elements to this story that will hold significance later, as well as establishing our cast of OC's. Oikawa and the entirety of Aoba Johsai (with the exception of one character) are largely missing from the first five chapters. The first chapter actually starts in Oikawa and Iwaizumi's third year of middle school. Chapter six is set to pick up on the same timeline as the show, but instead having Aoba Johsai as the main setting. All of this to say, there's a good chance you'll read the first five chapters and it won't feel like an Oikawa fan fiction at all. I do apologize for that, and I really hope I've made it entertaining enough to keep you invested until then. I assure you, Oikawa plays an integral role in the main plot, but at the end of the day, this is Akiyama's story and I wanted to establish that first and foremost.
> 
> Sorry for the long paragraph. I hope you all enjoy the story! Feel free to give me feedback, but please try to be kind!
> 
> -Nina Flashlightning

I was a quitter. This was a simple fact, and I grew to hate that about myself. When the going got tough, I didn't get going, I got gone. That's exactly what happened with me and volleyball. I hated getting my shots blocked, and it happened constantly, and when I eventually got removed from the starting line-up, I decided it wasn't worth continuing to disappoint myself. When I quit volleyball, I didn't just quit. I buried all of those years of practice and hard work deep inside of my mind in hopes I would eventually forget it all. I wished I could just take all of those memories and put them through a paper shredder or something. Heck, I was hoping I'd forget about volleyball altogether, but the world wouldn't let me. My friends and classmates at Shiratorizawa Academy Junior High nagged me day after day to go watch the amazing Ushijima Wakatoshi. Those who had no understanding of the sport would talk about his raw power on the court, and I tried to not blink an eye at it all. Truth be told, Ushijima Wakatoshi's kind of mastery of the position of wing spiker was always the goal for the rest of us, and it was highly unrealistic for the majority of us. I suppose it was watching prodigies like Ushijima that allowed me to realize that there was a level of mastery I would never attain. In fact, I would never come close.

"Tsuna. Nothing you could say or do could convince me to come to this game with you," I assured my annoyingly persistent best friend, Tsuna Ishimoto.

"Seriously?! I'll do your homework for a week- no, a month! Come on! Just this once and I'll never nag you about it again!"

I rolled my eyes at her and my teeth clenched in frustration. This little routine of ours, where she would be me to go to "one game" to which I say no and always will, it had been going on since the season started... meaning months. First it was practice games, then it was the prelims, and now finals, but an overwhelming feeling of discomfort washed over my body every time I thought about watching another volleyball game.

"You and I both know that's a lie," I asserted. "I get that you think that this'll be good for me or something, but I could seriously go-"

"You could seriously go your whole life without watching another volleyball game, I know..." she muttered, her excited face fading into dull and hopelessness, her head hanging low to her shoulder. "I get that you're trying to move on from volleyball and that you told yourself that you'd never play volleyball again, and how you hate second guessing yourself, so you pushed volleyball as far back in your mind as you possibly could. But just because you quit doesn't mean you have to stop loving the sport. I quit volleyball because I found more enjoyment in watching than playing. I'm seriously worried about you. I think you're trying too hard to suppress something you still have love in your heart for, so please... come to the finals. Just this once, and I'll never ask again, okay? I promise."

As soon as I saw the glossed over look of sadness and concern in Tsuna's eyes, I knew I was past the point of avoiding this. I had my reasons for wanting to forget, but they certainly weren't worth hurting her. The time had come to stop acting like this thing that had once been a huge part of my life didn't exist.

The next day, I met up with Tsuna to get on the bus to the gym where the tournament finals were taking place. This was the game that would determine if Shiratorizawa went to the Junior High National tournament. I had avoided every other game of the tournament and even the entire season. Every time the game day busses came around to take as many students as they could fit to whatever gym Shiratorizawa would dominate next, I averted my eyes. Bus? What bus? Out of site, out of mind. Tsuna had profusely expressed that she didn't enjoy this approach. She begged me to go to every single game of the tournament, and each time I refused, but I couldn't stand hurting her feelings over it any longer. She's only trying to do what she thinks is best for me, even if I know I could go my whole life without ever watching a volleyball game again, but just this once I would go to prove to her that it won't change anything.

Tsuna waved her hands wildly at me, beckoning me over to her. "You came!" she beamed.

"Yay..." I groaned.

"Aww, don't be like that," Tsuna begged me, "You're gonna have the greatest time, I promise!"

"Whatever you say..."

Right on queue, door to the bus flung wide open and students began to pile on, pushing and shoving each other in a desperate attempt to not miss out on the good seats. Tsuna and I were among some of the first people on, so we secured our seats in the back, and I pressed my cheek against the window and watched the world around pass me by as the bus drove off. This was a giant waste of time, I thought to myself. I hate volleyball, and I always will. That's what I kept reassuring myself. I didn't need it in my life. I wanted it gone.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Tsuna intervened.

"Nothing important," I assured her, my eyes still locked on the outside.

"If you say so," she replied unconvincingly. "Hey, thanks for coming with me. It really means a lot."

"No problem."

I could see Tsuna give a weak half smile in the corner of my eyes and followed it with a quiet sigh. She pressed her hands against her lap and her head hung low toward the floor.

"Why so nervous?" I questioned her.

She kept her head down but her eyes turned to barely meet mine. "Who me? It's nothing."

"Does it have anything to do with Ushijima?" I asked bluntly.

"What?!" she squealed , suddenly very defensive. "Of course not! That's silly! Why would I-"

"You know he's graduating soon, and you won't have a chance to see him again for another year. If this is important to you, you should just go for it, because if you don't, you might just lose your chance permanently."

Tsuna's fists began to clench up anxiously. I suppose I might've been too forward, but Tsuna had a thing for Ushijima Wakatoshi for over a year now. She briefly tutored him in math last year (despite being his underclassmen, she's incredibly booksmart), and she hasn't missed a game of his since. She even watches the practice matches. I'd be quite shocked if Ushijima didn't notice her constant presence, but he also seemed like the dense type to me, so I suppose there's a chance he never even realized. The point is, she had to realize that his time here was fleeting, and her chances were dwindling.

Before I could say anything else on the topic, the bus came to a screeching halt. Students flooded out of the bus and into the gymnasium. Different groups and cliques secured their seats in the stands. Tsuna and I went to the very top which we both had always agreed were the best seats. Just as things began to settle down, the Shiratorizawa players began to file out, followed by an array of loud cheers. The noise that followed Ushijima's entrance was almost deafening... of course that could have also been because I was sitting directly next to his number one fan. The girl was the picture of innocence: silky dark blonde hair pulled back in a single braid with a couple strands falling loosely against her face, dark button-like eyes and a diamond shaped face.. She may have been the picture of innocence, but that girl could scream like a banshee. Heads turned to find the source of the squealing, and Tsuna shriveled back into her seat. The crowd began to grow quiet again as the other team started to enter.

"Hey, Tsuna?"

"Ya."

"Who is it they're playing again?"

"Just Kitagawa Daiichi. Should be an easy win like all the others." Tsuna assured me.

"Fair enough." I agreed. Shiratorizawa had a painful habit of sweeping teams and mercilessly wrecking them.

"Ya, I honestly don't know much about them," Tsuna explained. "Only that their captain is apparently a real cutie. Not my type though. I don't like pretty boys."

I briefly looked back over at Ushijima. "Clearly," I muttered under my breath.

"Oh, look. There he is!"

I peered back over to the other team, and in walked a boy with fluffy brown hair and big chocolatey eyes. I looked back over at Tsuna. "He doesn't really look all that intimidating."

A couple girls on the other side of the stands squealed almost as mercilessly as Tsuna did not five minutes ago.

"He's clearly got fans, though," I observed. "That's annoying."

"What's wrong with being a fangirl..." Tsuna mumbled.

"In your case, I don't blame you. Ushiwaka is a highly capable player. I highly doubt those girls over there are here for anything but that guy's looks."

"Tooru Oikawa. Setter. Captain." The announcer detailed.

Ushijima and the other boy met in the middle to shake hands and do the coin toss to choose who would serve first. I saw the referee motion to the pretty boy. He said something I couldn't make out and then moved to the back right corner of the court, ball in hand. Kitagawa Daiichi would be serving first, starting with their captain. I found it a little strange that he was in the back at the start as a setter. It'd make much more sense to put him in front, unless...

Before I could finish that thought, the captain spun the ball in his hand and then threw it up in the air and jumped to meet it. A jump serve was pretty impressive for any middle schooler, but I didn't think much of it. He was the captain after all. His right hand made contact with the ball, and shot across the court at lightning speed. I and the rest of the Shiratorizawa crowd were left speechless. I looked over to Tsuna who looked just as confused as I was, then immediately turned back toward the court. A white flag was lifted up on Shiratorizawa's size. Out. Tough luck, I thought, but the gym stayed silent for a good 30 seconds after that. I looked at the fan girls on the other side who seemed to be just as shocked, then I looked down at our players. I could see Ushijima lift a confused brow, then it hit me.

_Holy shit! Ushijima was scared._

On the court, Ushijima was known to be scared of nothing, an unmoving force that feared no one and had no equal.

I took one more look back at the Kitagawa captain, and he too was looking at Ushijima. His eyes flashed from disappointment to hope. Their number four gave him a light slap on the back and the captain's eyes immediately focused back in. There was a perfect calm in his eyes in that moment, as the ball was retrieved and given to the Shiratorizawa player in the back. The Kitagawa captain said something short and I assumed encouraging to his team, and soon that perfect focus I saw in his eyes encapsulated the eyes of his whole team. There was such a bold determination among all of them, none more so than their fearless captain. I felt horribly guilty knowing that they were going to get demolished like everyone else.

**Or so I thought.**

The server threw the ball up in the air and his hand made contact, his feet never leaving the ground. A float serve, huh? Starting with a pinch server was a bold play, but for a second it seemed like it might work out. The first serve was a service ace, followed by an array of "don't mind" from the Kitagawa players.

The second serve was dug up by their libero, and the captain set the ball up for number 4. The ball landed on the other side of the net smack in the middle of the court.

Several rallies later and I was still convinced that Kitagawa didn't have a fighting chance, and I was never more certain of that than when Ushiwaka was up to serve. Ushijima Wakatoshi's serve was nothing short of legendary. He was a powerhouse player, and that started with the serve, so when Ushiwaka threw the ball up in the air, you could see the fear in the other players eyes. I looked over to their captain, but he remained surprisingly unchanged. That perfect focus in his eyes was still there, bright as ever. Ushiwaka made contact with the ball and the entire gym went silent as the ball landed perfectly in 1's arms and made its way to their number 3 who set the ball up for their number 5. The ball was recovered by Shiratorizawa's libero, and a super long rally began between the schools, ending in a point gained by Kitagawa Daiichi. This was the moment I realized the game wasn't completely over, and I started to think about how awesome it would be if they actually won. What an underdog story that would be.

Near the end of the first set the score was 22 to 23, Shiratorizawa leading, and their captain was once again up to serve. I had just about forgotten I wasn't at the game alone, I was so narrowly focused on the game in front of me. My hands were folded and pressing against my forehead. I had seen what that monster serve could do. It could **change the game**. My eyes wanted to stay shut. I was so nervous for him. I looked up and similarly their number one was pressing the ball against his forehead. _A good luck ritual?_ At this point, the perfect focus that I had observed in his eyes was now in mine as I watched him. I felt weirdly connected to this guy... I think our breathing was even in sync, and despite the fact that I knew our spirit section was yelling wildly to distract him, I felt like I could hear a pen drop. I couldn't hear anything but the ball.

He tossed the ball in the air, his eyes locked perfectly on it, and the ball shot across the court just as it did the first time, except this time it was in. Shiratorizawa hadn't hardly any time to react, so when the ball bounced right in front of Ushijima's face. It was an utter shock to everyone. The gym went silent for real this time, and Ushijima was furious. Shiratorizawa's players were now focusing in as well as Ushijima rolled the ball back to the Kitagawa captain. The whistle blew, the ball went back in the air, and just like last time, it seemed that the ball made contact with the floor of Shiratorizawa court side a split second after it connected with his hand. Kitagawa for the first time in the whole game had the lead.

Their libero was able to catch up to the 3rd serve, but it shot straight through his hands, securing Kitagawa Daiichi the first set, a feat no one saw coming.

"Hey, Tsuna?" I turned to her, finally breaking my eyes away from the captain who was now being picked up and lifted by his team.

"Ya?"

"What's the name of their captain again?"

"Tooru Oikawa, why?"

" _No reason_."

END OF CHAPTER


	2. Court Rejects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akiyama has a lot to learn after being out the game for so long. What kind of unexpected practice partner will she meet?

Kitagawa Daiichi ended up taking the first set but losing the game. Walking into this, I could've never expected that I would take their loss so personally, but the disappointment really set at the awards ceremony. All the other teams came out to accept awards. Tooru Oikawa ended up receiving the best setter award, and a bittersweet smile painted across his face. He was definitely holding back tears, and my suspicions were confirmed when I saw little droplets begin to fall from his face. I, however, was just bitter. Maybe it was because I hated Ushijima for being the wing spiker I couldn't be, or maybe it's because I got a little too invested in Oikawa's success. Personally, I think it was a bit of a combination of both, but I'd say it was the ladder more so than the former. It was the perfectly unbroken trust between a captain and his teammates that had me completely captivated. Not only was there a calm focus on the face of every Kitagawa player, a bond was ever present between them that allowed a perfect trust to happen. At first glance, you might think that the players moved to Oikawa's every whim, like a puppet master in complete control of a set of mindless dolls, but the reality was nothing like that at all. Just as different players would fall in line to the wishes of their captain, Oikawa would adapt to their needs and adjust his strategy to ensure the best rate of success for his teammates. Oikawa was a good setter, but he was a great captain, and I went home wanting to experience that perfect trust on the court for myself.

Tsuna ended up staying after the ceremony. She apparently had something important to do. I offered to stay with her, but she simply told me I should head home, so I took the bus back to the school and walked home from there. As soon as I got home, I went digging under my bed for the old volleyball I had nearly forgotten about. When I finally pulled it out, I held it in my hands and an overwhelming feeling of uncomfortable familiarity came over me. I had buried memories of picking up the sport as a young child. I used to watch national games on live television with Tsuna every weekend, and when I was ten, my parents signed me up for a volleyball training camp. It was playing that changed my relationship with volleyball to a love-hate relationship. I loved playing. I wanted to stay on the court as long as possible. I hated messing up. It nearly made me sick. Eventually I decided it was easier to just hate volleyball, or at least to tell myself that I hated it, but having that ball in my hands for the first time again, it was abundantly clear I still had a lot of love for it. It seemed to fit perfectly in them, like it never should've left.

I went outside and started hitting the ball against the back wall of our house, much to my parents dismay, but I was rusty and needed the practice. Problem was my accuracy was so bad and my power wasn't there at all. The harder I tried to hit the ball, the more disappointed I'd get with the puny hits I would make. I spent the rest of my afternoon and almost my whole weekend trying to get myself back to a point where I'd no longer humiliate myself if I went to a public gym, but like always, something wasn't clicking.

I dialed Tsuna's number hoping for a good rant, but it went straight to voicemail, and with little options I ended up turning to someone who after years of watching me play the sport still hardly understood volleyball, and by some miracle, my mother managed to say something pretty smart.

"I can't begin to understand why you so suddenly decided to pick up a sport you long quit-" my mother explained, "But if you ask me, maybe this is a chance to start over completely, think about how you play a little differently. Try something new."

"New? Like what?" I asked skeptically.

"Well. I mean, you can try to reteach yourself the basics in a way that makes more since to you, or you can say 'screw it' and reinvent yourself as a player altogether. Look, you were expected to score a bunch of points and make all the power plays, right?"

"Ya..."

"Maybe play back row or something... be a support. A dependable team player that worries less about scoring the points and more about helping her teammates do it for her."

"Well, I mean, that's great, but I can't just play the back row the whole game."

"Sure you can! Isn't that what the one with the special jersey does?"

"The Libero?"

"Ya... the Liberal!"

"Mom, no-"

I gotta give it to my mom, I didn't even consider the possibility of ditching the position I normally play altogether. I've always profusely hated the pressure of scoring points, and that's actually kind of great for a Libero, because they aren't even allowed to score points. I ultimately decided that my mom's suggestion was definitely worth a shot.

I went back to my wall in the backyard, and ran into a quick problem. There is nothing more predictable than throwing a ball against a wall catching the ball you just threw. It was a decent refresher on receiving for about 2 hours, and then it got repetitive. I needed a practice partner. By the time I had made this realization, the weekend was over and it was back to school.

I met up with Tsuna before class in the library, a typical place to find her reading some sort of novel or manga. Tsuna was there, in the corner she usually sat in with an old and dusty beanbag, but there was no book on her. Instead, she was staring at her phone longingly, bittersweetly. I sat down in the beanbag next to her, deciding that now was not a good time to beg her to be my volleyball practice partner.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" I asked curiously.

Tsuna's eyes widened and she clasped her phone shut. '"N-nothing! Just some text from my mom..." She immediately slumped back down with a gloomy stare on her face, and I knew something was up. "What's up?"

"What's up with you?" I asked skeptically.

"Me? Nothing's wrong." Tsuna insisted.

I glared back at her, eyebrows skeptically raised. "I didn't ask what's wrong. I asked what's up."

"Oh, really?" She said with a forced smile and nervous chuckle. "Must've misheard then."

"Okay, now I'm sure something's wrong. What happened, Tsuna?"

"I don't wanna talk about it-"

"Ya, you do. You always do."

Tsuna grasped the phone in her hand tightly. It was clear she had been holding onto something, but I knew Tsuna, and bottling up her feelings never really worked for her. She was used to wearing her heart on her sleeve, even when it ultimately got her hurt.

She let out a heavy sigh and her head hung low. "I was gonna do it," she said.

"Do what?"

"Confess. To Ushijima," Tsuna explained, shaking her head in disbelief. "I'm so stupid to even think I had a chance."

"He rejected you?"

"He didn't even give me a chance to say it," she scoffed.

"You're kidding. Why would he do that?" I questioned her. "Are you sure he didn't just misunderstand you?"

"Well, I thought that might've been the case, at first. As soon as the ceremony ended, I went to try and get his attention, but there were a bunch of other girls crowding him, and I wormed my way through them to get to him. By the time I got through all of them, he was already gone, and I should've just left it at that, but I decided instead to wait for him outside of the gym. I figured this was even better, cuz now I'd be able to tell him without a bunch of other people around, but it went so horribly wrong."

"Okay... what happened then?"

"So I was waiting on a bench for like an hour, and when he finally came out he nearly walked straight past me. I had to chase him down, but when I caught up to him I was a stuttering mess, and I kept trying to get out those three words, and I failed miserably, so he just put his hand on my shoulder and said: 'Thank you for your support, and I apologize for the wait,' and then he waved goodbye and left."

"Wait, I'm confused. Did he not give you the chance or did just you not get the chance?"

"I'm getting there. So he was leaving, and I knew I wasn't going to get another chance, so I grabbed him by the wrist and started to say it, and he interrupted me and said 'I'm flattered, by I'm very dedicated to volleyball. I have no room for distractions. I hope you understand,' then I let go of his wrist and he left. I feel stupid, Katsumi, like a total idiot." Tsuna grumbled.

I let out a disappointed sigh. "You're not an idiot, Tsuna. He is," I asserted. "He turned you down for what? A stupid game?"

"I don't know, Katsumi. I think it's more than just a stupid game to him-"

"Ya, well you're more than just a distraction. You're amazing, and if he can't see that, that's his loss," I assured her. "Ushijima Wakatoshi is completely out of his mind to turn you down."

Tsuna looked back up at me with sad but hopeful eyes. "You really think so?"

"I know so," I told her.

Tsuna began to laugh, and also began to cry. I wrapped her in my arms and gave her a supportive head pat.

"You know what? You were totally right," she said, "That game wasn't fun at all. we should totally just pretend it never even happened!"

I looked up at Tsuna with concerned eyes. I always thought Tsuna had truly enjoyed watching volleyball, but was it possible she had only been watching for Wakatoshi? Were she and I more alike than I thought? She quit volleyball much sooner than I did, was it possible that she lost love for the sport as well, and that it was just Ushiwaka that kept her coming back?

Could one person really make you love something you hate so much like that?

"Ya... It never even happened."

*********************

Days passed and Tsuna and I continued to ignore our experiences at the Kitagawa V.S. Shiratorizawa game, and with that, I held my tongue at the urge to ask Tsuna to help me practice. Truthfully, I still wanted to give being a Libero a try, but I was totally banking on Tsuna being willing to help me. Aside from old teammates, Tsuna was the only friend I had that could help me with this, and I couldn't ask my old teammates. I haven't talked to any of them since I quit, so it was back to the back wall on afternoons, until my mother finally got sick of the banging noise on her office wall. She basically shoved me out the front door. She told me I'd have to practice at the neighborhood gym or not at all, and that marked the first day I made the walk up the hill to the volleyball court.

It hadn't yet occurred to me that I could try and find a practice partner there until now, but it started to present itself in my mind as a much more promising prospect than my other options... which were basically nonexistent. I wasn't really expecting much to work with though. Most people my age were on school teams and could use their gyms. The people who typically used the neighborhood gyms were either children or grown adults that were well out of college, neither of which really excited me, but regardless it was worth at least considering.

When I arrived it was exactly as I expected: a lot of kids playing pass with their parents, and a few washed up older folks who peaked in high school but never let go, so for now it was back to the wall.

I situated myself towards the back corner and started chucking the ball in my hand at the wall and retrieving it, sending it back toward the wall over and over again.

Exhilarating.

Admittedly, this wasn't much of an upgrade from what I was already doing, aside from now being in an air conditioned gym, but I was still doing the same repetitive process and it wasn't making me any better of a player. I kept this up for about an hour before going to the fountain to get a drink, and when I did, I heard the door slam open and the gym quickly grew silent, aside from the slight terrified whispers of a few kids whose parents had dropped them off and weren't there to protect them from the monster who just entered. Kentaro Kyotani was nothing short of a monster. As he walked through the gym kids in his path instantly scattered, and he situated himself in the other back corner, taking the spot from a group of primary school kids. I took myself back to my own corner, adjacent to his and started my routine back up again.

As I continued to toss the ball onto the wall and send it back in the air before it touched the ground, I found that the sound of volleyballs slamming against the wall behind me sending a gunshot-like echo through the gym was causing me to miss the ball a lot more. On occasion, I'd even watch the ball from the boy behind me roll over to me, but I'd casually kick it back to him and get back to my own wall, until one of those balls shot right into my back. I turned around ready to give him a piece of my mind, but as I watched the barrage of volleyballs fly past me I had a better idea. I locked my eyes onto the ball the kid threw up in the air. It slammed into the wall, and I instinctively dove for it as it shot back at me, and as soon as it hit my arms it bounced off into his head. The boy slowly turned around to face me with blazing eyes and shaking arms.

"What the hell was that for?!" He outburst.

"What?! You're getting mad at me?! First of all, I wasn't trying to hit you, and second, you hit me first!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," the kid responded blankly.

"Oh come on! You hit the ball so hard, it bounced off the wall and hit me!"

"Well maybe you shouldn't have been standing behind me."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "Excuse me, but I was here first. Do you think you own the gym or something?"

"You may have been first today, but I've been coming here for months, and I've never seen you before. Everyone else here knows to give me the space I need. It's not my fault that you're new here and don't understand that."

"So you just expect everyone to let you take up half the gym?!"

"... yes." He answered.

The boy turned back to his wall and threw another ball into the air. I locked onto the ball once again as it hit the wall and shot back into my arms. The ball flew past the boy, just missing his right side.

"You missed," He taunted.

Really, I didn't notice.

"Maybe you should- I don't know- go away and practice some more?"

"You know, it's funny you say that, because that was exactly what I was trying to do before you barged in like you own the place!"

"Sounds like a you problem," The angry-faced teen said bluntly.

"You know, I'm not the only one suffering here because of you. Do you not give a shit about those kids whose spot you stole?"

"I didn't steal their spot. They gave it to me."

"Would you have beat them up if they didn't?" I asked skeptically.

"No... but I might've started serving balls that were conveniently going their way until they did," he explained. "Anyway, are you gonna give me some space or am I gonna have to demonstrate my little crowd clearing trick?"

I gave him a deadpan stare, determined to knock this guy off his high horse. He rolled his eyes and walked over to the ball laying on the ground behind him.

"You asked for it," He declared, tossing the ball in the air. As he awaited the ball to drop right in front of his raised hand, I readied myself for impact. This kid hit hard, I already knew that from the fact that it managed to bounce off the wall and still hit me in the back enough to bruise, so I took my stance and locked my eyes on the ball. It seemed to barely make contact with his hand before shooting towards me and immediately hitting my arms. For a split-second, I actually thought I managed to dig up his serve, but the strong backspin on the ball caused it to spiral up and smack me right in the face. The ball bounced off my cheek and right back into the boys hands. He looked at me puzzled for a second, waiting for a response.

Soon a throbbing pain started on my cheek. "Motherfucker," I instinctively interjected, much to the disappointment of concerned parents who were already eyeing the scene.

The boy in front of me was rendered in a state of shock for about two seconds before bursting into maniacal laughter. I stood confused as ever, not because any normal person wouldn't laugh at my highly embarrassing outburst, but because this kid just didn't seem like the typed that laughed at... well, anything. But here he was, joyful as anyone would be, granted it was at the expense of my own pain, but something about it felt rare. "Oh my god, that was too good. Hey! Do it again!" He exclaimed before breaking out into laughter once again.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance and quickly regained my stance.

He quickly calmed himself when I did, looking over to me with confused eyes. "Hey, you know I wasn't being serious. Like, you can go back to your corner now."

"No thanks. Just hit another for me."

The confusion in his eyes continued to grow. "Um... no offense, but I almost seriously hurt you-"

"You didn't though."

"Do you have a death wish or something?"

"Look, I just want a chance to fix my mistake. Can you give me that or not?"

The boy looked at me with the same deadpan stare I had given him not long ago, expressing an obvious skepticism at what I was trying to tell him.

My arms folded and my former confidence quickly shriveled up. Honestly, I was terrible at asking people for help, and trying to do so from a total stranger who likely already hates me was just short of a nightmare for me, but I scoffed out my shameful admittance. "I don't really have anyone to practice with."

"Ahh, see that makes much more sense," The boy cockily concluded.

"Ya, well that doesn't change the fact that I do want to fix my mistake, and I can't do that by continuing to play with the wall, and from my angle, it looks like you could use someone to fetch back the balls you hit."

He let out a little scoff before asking: "You'd really rather play ball boy for me than play alone?"

"It's not ball boy..."

"It's ball boy."

"I- whatever. Sure. Call it what you want. You hit, I receive. Deal or no deal?" I pestered impatiently.

The boy began to grow aggravated once again at my persistence. "You know what? Fine. But I'm not gonna hit the ball to you directly. You can receive the balls I hit off the wall."

"What? No how is that any different than my throwing it at the wall myself?" I contested.

"I'm sorry, but wasn't it you who claimed that one of my balls hit the wall so hard it bounced off and hit you in the back? And also, you won't know where the ball is going because you won't be the one throwing it. I'm not gonna serve to you directly. I'm on thin ice with my privileges to play here as is, if I end up injuring you, I'll get thrown out of here for good," He explained. "I'm not negotiating on this. You can play my way or not at all."

I briefly held eye contact with him with a stubborn glare, but I reluctantly agreed to his terms. He began to start spiking balls toward the wall, and I attempted to catch as many as I could as accurately as I could.

Kentaro Kyotani was the both the best and the worst practice partner I could've possibly asked for. For this to become a daily routine was not something I had planned, but it was something that lasted throughout the summer, and I eventually gained his trust enough to have him hit for me without the wall. I left that gym with bruises that often left my parents extremely concerned and me wearing long sleeves during the summer, but I was becoming resilient and adaptable. Kyotani was the ultimate wild card, a hard hitter driven by emotion and pent up anger. Holding back was not in his vocabulary, and I was forced to become better.

On occasion, we'd even do doubles on the net. Our third, and the person who would typically serve as my partner was some wild-eyed middle blocker who looked vaguely familiar, but I could never nail down where from. It drove me a little out of my mind too, because he simply had a face one didn't forget. On the other side of the net, a slightly younger girl who was an incredibly timid setter. Honestly, she was a terrible match for the demanding Kyotani, but she was essentially in the same boat as I was. She didn't come as often, likely because Kyotani often scared her off, and the middle blocker boy wasn't actually from our neighborhood. Apparently, he couldn't go to his own neighborhood gym for some unknown reason, but the trek to ours was a little far for daily trips like me and Kyotani. It was far from perfect or ideal. We were a mixed bag of court rejects: a powerhouse with a terrible tempter and even worse impulse control, a setter who couldn't even trust her own judgement most of the time for fear of messing up, a freakish middle blocker with scarily accurate instincts, and me. What made me a court reject? I was the girl who let herself down, and then her team when she just up and left. It took me a while to realize how selfish my decision to quit was, but what goes around comes around, and my choice was coming back to me with hell to pay.

END OF CHAPTER


	3. The Forsaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning to the team she left behind will present Katsumi with a whole bunch of new challenges. She'll learn the consequences of the way she left them. Can she earn their trust once again or is it a lost cause?

The summer was now over, and I knew it was finally time to do the one thing I had been dreading for a long time: returning to the team I had left almost two years ago. Truthfully, I had no idea if they would even take me back. They weren't like those teams who let everyone on, they were pretty selective, and I had an incredible disadvantage over everyone else attempting to join. They already knew me, my weaknesses, my work ethic, and to them I was a quitter, unreliable, and untrustworthy.

Tryouts were terribly awkward. I played well, all things considered but many established players whom I had formerly played with were throwing me looks of contempt and young hopeful new recruits were looking at at me, a third year, wondering why I had to try out in the first place. Most people can assume I did something wrong to get kicked off the team, but there was one sympathetic, slightly nervous, and familiar face . A girl with grayish blonde hair and sharp but weirdly gentle eyes. She had all the ability to be intimidating and simply wasn't. It was the setter girl I had occasionally played with during the summer. I had no clue we went to the same school. She didn't talk much though, so how could I? I didn't even know her name. None of us did, all we knew is we needed a setter and she didn't say no, and to Kyotani that was good enough for him. I didn't know her name, but I knew her, and when coach asked for team members to team up with people who were trying out, I watched people quickly avoid my gaze and I walked up to the girl in the back that seemed practically invisible to everyone else. My only familiar face, and the only person in this entire gym who wasn't looking at me like I didn't belong here.

I think the girl was more nervous than I was, and frankly, that was really saying something. For now, we were just warming up in partners, but having done this exact tryout before, I knew this was actually a part of it. This was a way to get a general gauge of people's skills before they could crack under the pressure of the "real" tryout. Having known this only made my own nerves worse. I gave her the ball to start. She'd serve, I'd receive and she'd set the ball I'd receive, and we'd continue this pattern. I would serve back, but the libero wasn't allowed to serve or score any points, so we had to continue this very simple process. Unfortunately, I don't know why she was feeling particularly pressured, but she was fumbling more than usual, and then it hit me. Instead of passing back the ball she served, I caught it in my hands, locked eyes with her and said: "Hey, you know I'm not gonna yell at you if you mess up like Kyotani, right?"

"Huh?" She said in surprise at my blunt approach.

"You didn't think I was gonna get mad at you, right?"

She began to nervously fiddle her thumbs. "Well..."

"It's fine," I told her. "I can get really intense with Kyotani but that's really only because it's him, I'm not that aggressive with most people."

"Oh, right," she said, releasing a tense breath she had been holding, and I knew my intuition was right. It wasn't the tryouts making her nervous, it was me. I had been playing against this girl and Kyotani the entire summer, and those double's matches would get really heated in between us. She probably thought when I was yelling at Kyotani for the stupid shit he would pull that I was also yelling at her.

"By the way, I never got your name. I'm Katsumi Akiyama."

"Asuka Semi. I've been meaning to ask you that all summer, but honestly, you-"

"Scared you a bit. Ya, sorry about that. Kyotani honestly brings out the worst in me sometimes," I admitted with a chuckle.

"Uhuh," She agreed.

**********

"Akiyima."

"Yes coach?"

"Thank you for meeting with me." Coach Miyazaki addressed me. Coach had called me out of class to meet with me privately about my tryout, and to me, and I was sure this was her way of letting me down easily. "Sit down," she kindly ordered, gesturing me to the two seats in front of her desk.

"I've been reviewing the notes from tryouts and we need to talk about your future here."

"I understand, coach."

She let out a long sigh, "I highly doubt you do, Akiyama," she explained. "Look, I must admit that it is astonishing how much your recieving skills have improved since you left the team, and you're certainly capable of being a starting libero, but you quit in the middle of the season, and I can't just ignore this."

"I know," I told her. "I made a really big mistake leaving."

"But do you understand why it was a mistake, Akiyama?" She asked with a cold and serious tone.

"Of course. I had no idea how much would miss playing. I've wanted to be back on the court since I left!" I assured her.

"Aki- Katsumi... I'm going to be frank with you," Coach Miyazaki asserted. "You're technical skills as a receiver have improved greatly, however, based on your response to my question, it seems you somehow managed to not learn the one thing I hoped you'd learn in your absence. Volleyball is not a one player sport. When a player decides up and leave like you did, they don't just let themselves down, no. You let the entire team down. I've asked multiple members of the team who previously played with you if I should let you back on, and you know what they said? They said no. They don't trust you, Katsumi, and I'm not sure you even have a chance to earn that trust back or not."

My head hung low in disappointment. "I understand, Coach Miyazaki-"

"I'm not finished," she cut me off. "One of our second years came to me vouching for you. She told me that she believes that you have changed and that you can continue to grow to be a valuable asset for this team, even with your limited time, and she doesn't stick her neck out for anyone. She's really... reserved, but she's got a lot of potential, she just needs someone who makes her comfortable."

Asuka.

"It's for this reason alone I'm compelled to invite you to rejoin us."

I took a big sigh of relief.

"However, I can't give you offer you a spot in the starting line up, and because you're a libero, I can't even make you a pinch server. There's a good chance that if you choose to accept a place on this team, you will ride the bench the entire season. Is that something you're willing to do?"

Being a bench warmer as a third year was not where I imagined myself two years ago. I could always refuse and continue to practice on my own and prepare for high school. I knew I didn't have to accept.

"I'll let you sit on it for a few-"

"I'll do it."

Coach looked at me skeptically. "Katsumi, are you sure about this? You may be riding the bench, but I don't want you to dip out on us again because you don't get your chance on the court."

"I won't. You have my word," I assured her. "I have to do this. I let a lot of people down when I left, and it's time for me make up for it as best as I can. Besides, Asuka could really use a friend by the sound of it."

Coach gave an approving smile and nod. "Very well. I'll go order you a jersey. I'll see you at Monday morning practice, Akiyama."

"Yes, coach!" I interjected enthusiastically before rushing out the door.

As I exited the gym I was quickly halted by the presence of a tall and brooding figure and I felt a rushing wave of fear drape over me. I turned around to address the figure and immediately recognized the chopped pixie cut black hair and the serious steel blue eyes. "Akiyama," She addressed forwardly.

"Oh hey, Matsui," I said awkwardly. "I heard you were captain now. That's exciting," I addressed her, taking in a big gulp of air to suppress the the welling up fear and guilt I felt in front of this old acquaintance I hadn't talked to in almost two years.

Reiko Matsui was one of starting line up members back in my first year. She's always had an intensely serious energy to her. It's something most people can sense with her easily during a first introduction. I had always a certain nervous pressure on myself around her. It might've been because of her intimidating eyes, or maybe it was the fact that she was one of the best wing spiker's in the prefecture, right up there with Wakatoshi. We're about the same age, in the same grade, and we played the same position, but Matsui already had the sheer power to outplay certain high schoolers by the time she made it to middle school. She and Ushijima are essentially the same: they set a goal for the rest of us that most of us can only hope to reach.

"It's very exciting. So what's the verdict Akiyama? Will you be joining us Monday?"

"I will."

"Awesome. It's great to have you back."

"Thank you?" I said hesitantly. Coach said she asked all the girls who previously played with me if they wanted me back and that all said no, so I had simply assumed Matsui didn't want me on the team.

"But hey, don't get your hopes up that you'll be put on the starting line up any time soon, kay? We already have a fantastic libero, and besides, she's no quitter." Matsui inched forward toward me, towering over me like a giant. "But even though you'll be warming the bench during games, don't think I'm not gonna work your ass to death during all of our practices. After all, I had to put in a bunch of extra work to pick up your slack when you quit. I'm not gonna go easy on you, Akiyama. Got it?"

I took in a shaky and nervous breath. "Got it."

And she left. Matsui really hadn't changed much since the last time I saw her. She could never contain her fiercely intense demeanor even when she tried. It makes her the perfect captain and ace, at least by Shiratorizawa standards. She puts fear into our enemies the second she lands on the court, but she can put fear into her teammates as well, and she certainly will when she finds it necessary.

She didn't lie though. Sure enough, she hit the ground running on day one, and from that point on she worked me to the point where I wanted to quit, but I wasn't dumb. That's exactly what she was trying to get me to do. She still thought of me as a quitter, which she had every reason to think, but I was here to prove her wrong. I didn't expect I'd be at the mercy of Reiko Matsui's personal grudge against me, but I had much thicker skin than Katsumi Akiyama she knew, and I was determined to prove it. Morning practices for the first few months still left me surprisingly exhausted for the remainder of the day, though.

"Akiyama, bend those knees! You better be able to dig anything that's over a foot of the ground!" Coach Miyazaki yelled. It seemed Coach and Matsui were in agreement that they would try and push me to my limits. I definitely understand Matsui's motive, but Coach was also particularly hard on me and her reasoning alluded me. I slid across the ground to pick up a carefully placed ball that Matsui hit and called for "Asu-semi" as we called her to avoid confusion from her brother.

"I- I got it," She called, setting the ball to one of our middle blockers whose attempt at a line shot was quickly retrieved by our official libero: Izumi Hiraoka. They sent the ball back from the right side and was unable pick it up because I was all the way over on the left. Asu-semi could've received the ball from the previous rally, but frankly, I knew she would hesitate, and my protecting her left us wide open. I was trying my best, but our starting line-up stood on one side of the court, and us on the other. I think you can gauge what kind of uphill battle I was facing every day from that.

Hiraoka walked over to my side of the court and then directly over to me. "You're putting your legs too close together. Your body language needs to be more open, right now it's pretty closed," she explained. "You could also afford to straighten your back. You're hunched over a little too much. You're gonna fall on your face like that!"

"I got it..." I said in annoyance, adjusting my form according to her criticisms. I'd be lying if I said that Hiraoka didn't have good advice, but she also doesn't know how to be... subtle. She's honest but all with good intent.

"Semi, if you're going to set the ball, you need to be confident in who you're setting to." Matsui criticized Asu-semi. "You can't keep hesitating. If that happened in a real game you'd be taken off the court immediately-"

"Matsu-san, I think you're being too harsh with her..." Hiraoka hesitantly warned our captain.

"You're making decisions for the entire team, and if you don't set with conviction we'll all fall apart," Matsui continued, brushing off Hiraoka's comment without a second thought.

Hiraoka gave me a dumbfounded look of defeat, and I let out an annoyed sigh and quickly moved over to Asuka. Asu-semi was visibly shaken, and by that I mean she was literally shaking.

"What she's trying to say is..." I quickly intervened, moving my arm in front of Matsui to physically signal that I intended to block her from causing any further damage. "No one is going to yell at you for whatever judgement call you make as long as you're sure of yourself when you make it. The problem is all in your head. Don't get trapped there." I turned back to Matsui to see if my little translation was correct.

She gave a subtle nod and turned back to Asu-semi. "On the technical side, the set was still pretty solid, but you could certainly afford to aim a little higher. It'll be much easier to make those adjustments, however, when you start to trust your decisions. Asu-semi, you are not a bad setter, so get that thought out of your head."

I had always known that a large part of my being on this team was to help Asu-semi learn to trust the team, but Matsui wanted to help her improve her technical skill on her own, and she certainly didn't want my help, but she did need it. She was one of the only people on the team aside from coach who saw the potential in Semi and wanted to bring it out, but I was one of the only people who knew how to talk to her without making her want to cry. Shy people don't respond well to Matsui, but I knew her. I knew her intentions were good, she just couldn't put her criticisms in a way that was palatable for Asuka, and when I began to step in, we realized that in its own weird way, our dysfunctional coparenting routine was actually working.

"Y-yes, Captain!" she responded with slightly more conviction.

While I won't say that Reiko Matsui wasn't hard on me, because she certainly was, the one place she stopped short of was giving me any actual constructive criticism. She seemed to have left that task to coach and Hiraoka. Instead she focused a lot of her attention onto Asu-semi, and at the time, I couldn't understand why. I also couldn't really understand why Hiraoka cared to give me all the extra help she did. You see, she didn't just give out the occasional advice, the girl taught me almost everything she knows, and I couldn't for the life of me understand why she would do this for me when it was her position I was gunning for. One day, I did ask her though and her explanation...

"Well, Shiratorizawa high school girls volleyball team's libero is about to graduate, and I don't graduate for another two years, so if you aren't prepared to replace her then there'll be a huge defensive gap on my future team. Besides, Reiko and I are gonna be on different teams soon, and I want to make sure she has a libero on her side she can trust as much as she trusts me. But when I get to high school, you better bet I'm coming back for my spot on the starting line-up!"

That was Izumi Hiraoka for you, self-assured and confident. Some would call it cocky, but she was perfectly justified for having faith in her own skill. Izumi was basically a prodigy. Even if I had stayed on the team and was already a libero, I have a hard time imagining even then that I'd even be a challenge for her spot. It was hers. She earned it through hard work and through tight relationships between her fellow teammates. Hiraoka knew how to gain someones trust on the court. It was one of many skills that set her apart. As you can probably imagine, there was a clear deficit when she was absent, but stepping in for her was not something I expected I'd ever have to do.

"Alright, ladies! That's enough for today. Go get some rest before the tournament," Coach Miyazaki directed us.

"Hey, Akiyama! Think you could stick around for me? I got a few more pointers for you!" Hiraoka called out to me. "Also, does anyone wanna hit a few spikes and serves for me?!"

An array of tired sighs and groans filled the gym from overworked players who knew that Hiraoka's definition of a few was at least 20.

"I-I can!"

"Aww, thanks, Asu-semi!" Hiraoka beamed, giving the girl a supportive pat on the back as she walked over to join us.

"Ya, I can stay for a bit," I told Hiraoka.

"Great! Looks like we're all set then."

"Hey, Hiraoka!" Coach called out. "I want you out of here in 30 minutes! Don't overdo it!"

"Yes, ma'am!" She exclaimed, lifting her dominant hand to her forehead in a cheesy salute to which I instinctively rolled my eyes. "Okay then, ladies! Akiyama, I really wanna tweak your dives. I'm afraid with the way that you're doing them now that you could hurt yourself, so I'm gonna teach you how to make risky dives less of a risk, kay?"

"Cool."

"Awesome!" Hiraoka bubbled. "Asu-chan, can you hit Akiyama-san some spikes? But when you do, make sure they're just short of her."

"Sure thing." Asuka through the ball up in the air and smacked it down toward the ground in front of me, and I slipped under the ball before it managed to touch down.

Hiraoka gave a perplexing look before beginning to walk toward me. "So here are a few things you can keep in mind for next time..."

Similar to Kyotani, you could definitely say that Hiraoka was both the best and worst teacher I could ask for. Kyotani helped me develop some durability and instinct but it was definitely Hiraoka that helped me refine my technical skill. However, even though Hiraoka was extremely helpful and a surprisingly good teacher for being my underclassmen, I knew that it came with a catch. The reality was no matter what Hiraoka taught me she could already do it better. There was a chasm between us in skill, and I wasn't catching up any time soon, despite the fact that she was trying her damn' hardest to get me there. I'd recall daily that I'd have one year in high school to play on the starting line up, and then Hiraoka would swoop in and claim a spot that was basically waiting for her. At times, knowing this would squash my motivation, but more than anything it drove me insane. Hiraoka was so nice. I wanted to beat her. I wanted to hate her, but I just couldn't. I knew deep down that I would be much further behind without her, but I'm still miles behind as it stands. Hiraoka considered herself my mentor above all else, but I considered her my greatest rival.

END OF CHAPTER


	4. Shifting Gears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A years worth of work has led up to the final tournament. Has the work of the Shiratorizawa Junior High girls paid off or will they be left in defeat?

Month's of being tested and pushed to my limits by the likes of Matsui and Hiraoka both physically and mentally had led me to the big day: the final tournament of the season. We manage to cop first place at the preliminary tournament, but Coach Miyazaki was quick to remind us that no victory was guaranteed.

"Ladies, you've become a fantastic team, and I believe you have the ability to sweep every team at this tournament, but don't get cocky," Coach addressed the team from the front of the bus that had just reached a conclusive halt. "We'd be smart to remember that last year our boys team had a close call in the finals losing the first set like that."

Trust me. I remember.

"Let that serve as a reminder to you all that anything can happen. So be strong and adaptable . Focus on the enemies you may face ahead, and don't get cocky."

"Yes, coach!"

"Captain, is there anything you'd like to say?" Coach turned and asked Matsui who was seated behind her.

She stood up from her seat, looked around the bus, and took a deep and nervous breath. "No matter what happens today, just know it has been a great pleasure to train beside you all."

In a highly uncharacteristic move from Matsui, she began to break out into tears and her normally dark and serious eyes revealed a rare moment of vulnerability in her. Hiraoka stood up and quickly began to comfort and reassure her. For Matsui to cry was about as rare as a blue moon, and somehow I felt that I knew exactly what had brought her to this point. Three whole years of her life she spent so much time and energy into helping train and cultivate this team. She took pride in all of their successes and felt personal responsibility for their losses. The results of her investment would reveal themselves today. The pressure she must've been feeling in that very moment isn't something I could've understood, because at the end of the day, I left when she stayed. I had invested in nobody's success but my own and I had even given up on that until recently. Reiko Matsui had invested in the success in every member of her team, from the highly capable and reliable Izumi Hiraoka to the self-doubting and inconsistent Asuka Semi.

However, it was clear there was one person she wouldn't mind watching fail miserably: me. For Matsui to put her heart and soul into this team from day one and for me to just up and leave was a betrayal that she could not easily forget. Noticing the way she looked at every single player of this team with honest eyes but how she couldn't bring herself to look at me, it was clear Coach was right. The trust I had lost from Matsui and the other third years, the girls who used to supportively pat me on the back and say "don't mind" when I messed up, it was something that I hadn't a chance of regaining from the start. I was abundantly fortunate that they were willing to tolerate my mere presence on that team, and I wasn't stupid as to why. It was because of Asuka Semi. I can't begin to understand why Asuka stuck her neck out for me that day, but she truly was the only reason I was a member of this team. The third years never truly accepted my presence, to which they had every right. Hiraoka accepted my presence, but it was with a catch. Asu-semi wanted me there. One day, I'll be sure to ask her why.

At the end of the day though, it didn't matter who trusted me or not, because I was gonna sit on that bench the entire tournament and support my team from the sidelines. They didn't have to accept it, but I had made up my mind that this is what I had to do.

Asu-semi and I filed off the bus behind everyone else and headed straight for the snack bar. I don't think I felt as nervous as everyone around me knowing I didn't have to worry about playing, but I sure was hungry and Asuka desperately needed to calm her nerves. I don't know why she was stressing herself out so much. She hardly had any higher of a chance of playing than I did, and my chances were basically nonexistent, but Asuka was wound up so far I'm surprised she wasn't spinning around the room.

"Mind if I hop in with y'all?"

Asuka and I turned around to the familiar grumbling voice. Kyotani, your timing could not be worse.

"Oh, hey. Setter girl," Kyotani bluntly addressed Asu-semi. "I didn't know you two went to the same school either."

I let out a slight nervous chuckle. "Ya, I didn't either until kinda recently, to be honest."

I had always felt a little bad for not noticing sooner, especially since it's painfully obvious Asuka doesn't really have a lot of friends of her own.

"Mm... My name is Asuka Semi. Just saying," The girl muttered, quickly shriveling at the site of the boy who gave her hell for half the summer.

"Oh, wow! She talks," Kyotani said in a surprised and slightly condescending tone. "Where was all of that communication when I needed it this summer, huh?"

"Maybe you would've gotten it if you weren't so harsh and demanding with her," I chastised.

"Maybe if she had been a bit more assertive-"

"I honestly don't really care what you think of me," Asu-semi interrupted. "All you did all summer was boss me around and work to hone in your own skills, but all I got out of it was whole lot of self-doubt, but I realized something..."

"I'm never gonna face anything on the court nearly as scary as you!" Asuka declared.

"And I'm tired of beating myself down about how I didn't stand up to you back then, but honestly, you don't scare me anymore," She continued. "Because, I see right through you. You think you can control a team through fear and you make allies through tyrannical force, but you know what? A team built on trust will always prevail over a team built on fear, but you'll probably never come to understand that because you, Kentaro Kyotani, aren't capable of trusting anyone but yourself. Was that assertive enough for you?"

For a second, Kyotani and I both just wallowed in our own silence and shock. For me, it was the most I had ever heard her talk and the boldest thing I had ever heard her say, but for Kyotani... that was really the first thing she had ever said to him at all. Asuka, how long had you been bottling all that up? I knew that how Kyotani had treated Asu-semi over the summer made her feel bad, but this was a complete shock to me.

"Hmph. It took you long enough," Kyotani scoffed.

"Say what now?" Asuka and I muttered in sync, giving him the same look of annoyance and disbelief.

"After pushing your buttons that entire summer and convincing me you were a totally lost cause, you finally grew a spine," He declared with a slight smirk. "Good job. Semi was it?"

"Uh... ya." Asu-semi responded, dumbfounded and flabbergasted.

"Well, Semi, take that new found confidence and run with it as far as you can, because if you think I'm the scariest kind of player you'll ever run into on the court, you're in for a rude awakening."

"Oh ya? Why is that?" Asuka challenged.

Kyotani rolled his eyes and let out a sigh before continuing his response. "It's simple really. I'm a scary guy, and I like everyone to know it from the get go, but some people are also scary, but they're really good at hiding it. They'll lure you in with their kindness and their smiles and shit, and then they'll chew you up and spit you out once you get close enough for them to swallow you whole. It's the one's you never expect that you gotta watch out for."

I saw the gears turn in Asu-semi's head as she looked for a response, but she quickly regressed. Kyotani was an arrogant, overconfident jerk, but he did have a point. The one thing he didn't do was change himself for the acceptance of others, even though if he'd probably get all kinds of new advantages. Those who faked sincerity to gain your trust just so they could eventually tear you apart were the real threat. It was something I had always half feared that Hiraoka was doing with me, but I've come to find that she's quite honest as well. I knew the kind of person Kyotani talked about existed, and that they had the potential to be ten times as terrifying as himself, but I couldn't actually think of a person I knew who was like that.

"Anyways, how long until y'alls first match?" Kyotani asked in an attempt to save himself from a conversation he was clearly becoming annoyed with.

"Uhh. About a half-hour," I responded after checking my watch.

"Really? I have at least a whole hour. Hey, maybe I'll watch you guys play..."

"I wouldn't bother, honestly. We're probably both gonna be benched the entire tournament." I explained.

"Actually... Coach promised me that she would put me in at least once as a pinch server..." Asu-semi corrected me.

"Really? I mean- that's great!" I assured her. That explains why she was so nervous. I didn't think Coach would put Semi in, but admittedly her float serve has gotten pretty consistent. It certainly wouldn't hurt anyone if they put her in when we were already keeping a good momentum. Good for her, I guess.

"I didn't know you were a pinch server," Kyotani murmured, now snacking on a chocolate bar as I downed a bottle of Coke.

"Ya, well, my brother is a really talented server, so I've been asking him to teach me whenever he can. Though it's been kind of hard to get his attention lately now that he's in high school. He's a hotshot Shiratorizawa Academy High School Mens Volleyball player now, he doesn't really have time for me."

"Oh, well that sucks," I replied sympathetically. "So is that the reason you started playing volleyball? So you could spend more time with your brother?"

"Sort of..." she explained. "Our parents signed us both up for children's volleyball classes, but he was always better than me. He kept playing volleyball because he was good at it, but me... I just wanted to spend time with him."

"And volleyball was your excuse to spend time with him,"

"Yes, except that he got so far ahead of me so fast that I was left in the dust," Asuka explained, her head hanging low in defeat. She began to claw her hands into her fists and took a deep breath in. "But I know if I just keep working really hard I'll catch up to him eventually, and maybe one day, I'll even surpass him, and when I do, he'll finally stop pushing me to the side. I won't be a shadow that clings to his back, I'll stand next to him as an equal. I'll- I'll earn the right to play alongside him!"

Kyotani's eyes rolled in absolute annoyance. "Well, that's a cute story, but I think I'm gonna-"

"Kyotani," Asuka interrupted.

"Ya?" He groaned.

Asuka turned to him and gave him a sincere smile. "Thank you. Standing up to you is one of the hardest things I've ever done, but now that I have, I feel invincible. Nothing could possibly scare me more than that, so, I really do mean it. Thank you."

"Uhh, sure. Whatever, I guess," Kyotani replied in confusion.

There was a brief awkward silence among us before I checked my watch. "Well, it looks like it's time, Asu-semi. Let's go. See you around, Kyotani."

Kyotani halfheartedly waved goodbye as Asu-semi and I began to worm our way through the crowd to our designated meeting spot.

"You seem much calmer now, Asuka," I noted on the way there..

"Ya, well, now that I've finally settled that with Kyotani... I can stop looking back at all of my regrets and letting it make me second guess myself. You, Matsui, and Coach trained me well. I can do this."

A bit of a proud smile began to form across my face. At times, it felt like this year had amounted to nothing on my part. I wasn't on the starting line-up, and though I was a better player, I wasn't as good as Hiraoka, but Asuka Semi... She was becoming a fully realized player right before my eyes, and I helped do that. She was far from a superstar, but she was starting to believe in herself and leave doubt behind her, but she said it herself. It was Matsui, Coach Miyazaki, and myself that got her to this point, and I think this is the first moment that I understood what Coach was trying to explain to me when she pulled me out that day to talk about my tryout. One of the great things about volleyball is being a part of a team, not just because they're there to cover you went you screw up, but because one person's success is a victory for the entire group. Sure, it's great to take pride in your achievements, but when you become invested in the growth and improvement of those around you, there success can feel much more reward than your own. Coach Miyazaki understood this because it is her job to her invest herself in our success, and I was beginning to understand it too.

We regrouped with the team and began to talk about the starting line up as we laced on our shoes and did basic stretched to warm up our bodies. Looking around at my teammates, I could see even Hiraoka was practically overcome with nervousness. Asuka wasn't as nervous as when she initially walked in the place, but the nerves were definitely starting to settle back in as she squeezed onto her fingers in an attempt to quell them.

I was the only one completely calm in the entire group, and that was because I was the only one who definitely not going to play. There was only room for one libero on the court, and Izumi Hiraoka had us covered, and I wasn't nervous for anyone else because I knew exactly what this team was capable of. I was confidence they'd have no problem winning this whole thing. After all, we had the incredible Captain/Ace Reiko Matsui and arguably the best libero in the prefecture. From where I was standing, it didn't look like anything could knock us down.

**********************************

There are moments on the court where a godly fear can be felt. One minute you can feel practically invincible and the next you may never feel more exposed. It's why in a sport like volleyball it's important to never let your guard down for even a second, because the climate can change so fast with the smallest play. The gears can shift in favor of one team and then immediately reverse and start working against them in seconds. It's the nature of the sport, and every player should always be ready for the situation to change drastically, even those of us on the bench. It was so incredibly dumb of me to have forgotten this.

As I watched a spiker that had been mercilessly trying to wear out Hiraoka smack the ball down right into her eye during the quarter finals, all the fear I had avoided the entire day suddenly hit me like the rushing wave of a tsunami.

The game stopped and Coach Miyazaki and our manager rushed over to Hiraoka to inspect the damage. I watched closely and anxiously as she removed her hand from her eye and revealed that it was already swelling shut. Coach turned her gaze over to me with a nervous and sympathetic look, and I knew that season was over for Izumi Hiraoka, and my season was just beginning.

You're probably thinking I should be happy about this, right? Not in the slightest. This may have been what I had be wanting all year, a chance to be back on the court, but not like this, any way but this. I was about to walk on the court for the first time this season, but I had done nothing to earn it. That spot belonged to Hiraoka, and aside from that, I was terrified.

Our manager began to walk Hiraoka off the court and Coach called to the ref for a substitution. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to exile all the nerves and self-doubt from my body. Hiraoka walked straight past me on the way out, put her hand on my shoulder, and said: "You got this, Akiyama. I believe in you, so go out there and give it your all."

I let off a bittersweet smile that Hiraoka couldn't see. "Go patch yourself up." I told her.

I placed myself on the court in the empty space Hiraoka left and immediately felt the energy shift. Looking around at my teammates on the court, it was abundantly clear that they knew as well as I did that I was not cut out to fill the void of Hiraoka's absence. They're glaring at me. They try not to show it, but they resent the fact that I'm standing on this court and not her, and I can't blame them either because truthfully I was pretty resentful of it too. There wasn't enough time to finish that thought though before the referee blew his whistle and the six of us turned our attention back to the enemy in front of us, and we realized that the ace player that had just broken our unbreakable libero was now up to serve.

"I'm so nervous," I thought. "Why am I so nervous? If I can pick up spikes from Kentaro Kyotani and Reiko Matsui, what did I have to fear from her? Just because she took out Hiraoka doesn't mean she can take me down too, right?"

I tried to clear the intrusive thoughts from my head as I watched the ball go up in the air. She leaped to meet it halfway and it immediately shot from her hand and into the space between me and the player on my left. We looked at one another in confusion trying to process just what had happened. What had happened was a failure to communicate. This ace was planning on taking every advantage of the switch up she could.

"Hey!" Matsui called out to us from the front right. "You have mouths, so use them! That goes for both of you."

I looked back at the girl on my left and we both gave each other a comprehensive nod. The whistle blew once again and the ball went back up in the air and once again shot right between us. I quickly called for the ball and stepped back to get under it. It bounced right off my hand and went directly back over to the to opposing team. I repositioned myself to fill in the empty space I left when I initially broke the serve. I braced myself to do whatever it took to keep this ball in play. If we let them get any more points, they would gain the momentum, and I couldn't let their ace go unchecked after all the damage she had already caused. So when the setter sent the ball to their right, it landed right on top of our spiker to the left and spun wildly before shooting off the court to the left side and I sprinted toward it, dived to pick it back up and just narrowly avoid colliding with the bench. I sent the ball far enough for Matsui to send in back slamming the ball into the court directly on the other side.

I took a relieving breath before making my way back to the court and it was time to rotate, and I was now in the last position before I was switched out.

There was a tonal contrast when I reconvened with the team from when I had just stepped on the court a couple of minutes ago. They were all looking at me with shock and confusion.

The girl I had jutted past on the left to get the ball seemed particularly frazzled. She had panicked under the pressure and had hardly moved by the time I was under the ball. "Hey, um... Akiyama? How did you not die just then?" She asked in an almost comically serious tone.

I held back a chuckle and simply responded: "What can I say? Hiraoka taught me well."

I got an approving nod from the rest of the team. Matsui, now in the back row, was particularly pleased with that answer. "Nice receive, Akiyama."

I let off a slight smile. This might've been the first words of positive encouragement I received from Matsui all year long.

"But try not to be so reckless. We don't need two liberos out of commission."

Spoke too soon, I guess.

I shook off Matsui's comment and readied myself for the ball to be back in play. Looking around at my teammates, it was clear to me that with that one risky play there were finally willing to put their faith in me.

END OF CHAPTER


	5. The Weakest Link

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katsumi and the rest of the team are feeling the pressure of Hiraoka's absence, but will they pull through in spite of this? Will this be a victory from which they can launch off or a failure they can hopefully learn from? Maybe a certain upperclassmen from another school has the answers...

The final set. My team had narrowly avoided being overtaken without Hiraoka's stronghold defensive abilities. For each set they won, we took one back, but in the fifth set, if we lost this there would be no redemption for us. If we were going to pull together and take this, now was the time.

The score was 19 to 20, the opposing team leading, perfectly reflecting the steady pattern we had maintained throughout the entire match. They would pull ahead, and we would pull to match them. Exhaustion was beginning to set in and hit me like a freight train. My body was sweating and aching more than I had ever known, and my brain was wearing itself thin. I was physically and mentally unprepared to enter the game during the finals of all times. Above all, the pressure I was feeling was outrageous. My mind continued to wonder back to the thought that this game would never be so close if Hiraoka was standing where I was.

The ball went up in the air on the other side of the net and smacked down right in front of my face, a devastating blow that allowed them to pull ahead and only worsened my current train of thought.

"Snap out of it, Akiyama. This isn't over yet," Matsui assured me, obviously quelling nerves of her own. "Just break that serve and we'll handle the rest, right girls?"

"Right!"

I looked around and quickly reminded myself that while Hiraoka had become and important established member of this team, they were still highly capable on their own. To lean on Hiraoka with lazy reliance would've been selfish of all of them. Volleyball is a team sport. No one player will ever rule the court on their own.

I took a deep breath and turned my eyes back to the enemy ahead. "Bring it on!" I shouted.

The ball went back up into the air and I carefully watched it as it spun wildly to the right of me. I lunged to make contact and sent the ball to our setter.

"Matsui, last hit!" She called.

"Got it!"

Matsui landed a perfect cross shot on the opposing team, ending what could've been a nasty serve streak. This was our chance to regain a solid rhythm. But just as that thought came over my head, it immediately ended with the blow of a long whistle. It wasn't my turn to be subbed out, so what exactly coach was planning was anyones guess, but as we turned to see just who it was, we realized that this would give us either a huge advantage or disadvantage and no in between.

Asuka was up to serve.

Now? I thought. Of all the times you could put in Asu-semi, you choose now? Do you really have that much faith in her, coach? I don't even have that much faith in myself...

Asu-semi was squeezing tightly onto her fingers and taking deep and shaky breaths as she walked onto the court to fill the empty space on my right. I looked over to Matsui with confused and slightly panicked eyes and she was just as confused as I was.

"Is coach crazy?!" I questioned Matsui in a frantic whisper.

Matsui let out a deep sigh. "I don't know. If Asuka can get a few service aces from them, we can take back the momentum, but if she doesn't..."

"We'll fall even further behind on the scoreboard."

"And we kinda can't afford that right now. If we do, we may never catch up," Matsui affirmed.

"Ya, not to mention if she screws this up, it'll kill her confidence." I muttered.

"I know. We don't have time to think about it though. At the end of the day, all we can do is put our faith in Asu-semi."

I let out a slight sigh and attempted to extinguish the doubt that lingered in my head. "Right. If she just keeps a clear head, she can totally do this." I reassured Matsui and myself.

Matsui and I took back our positions and focused in. I looked over to Asu-semi who was taking deep breaths and waiting for the whistle and that's when I noticed behind her in the audience... Kyotani was hiding in the back, watching carefully. I had no idea how long he had been there but he was on the edge of his seat, his leg anxiously bobbing up and down.

Asuka, if you fuck this up in front of him, he will never let you forget about it.

I didn't say it out loud of course. I didn't want to make her any more nervous than she likely already was. I focused my attention back onto Asu-semi. Based on the look on her face, I think I was actually more nervous than her. In fact, she looked surprisingly calm. It was the first time I ever saw her standing on the court with such composure. The referee blew the whistle and Asuka took a deep breath before honing in on the ball she threw gracefully up into the air. She lept to meet it and a perfect focus washed over her eyes as the reached it and made gentle contact with the ball. It floated unpredictably to the other side. A girl on the other side called for it but it spun past her as she went to receive it. You see, Asuka was different. There was a unique aspect of her play style that likely for many years served as a major set back, but Matsui and I knew, thanks to one Ushijima Wakatoshi, that with proper training it could become her biggest strength. Asuka Semi was left-handed. The ref designated the ball as in and a deadpan silence filled the court.

She did it.

I looked over at the rest of the team whose surprised face quickly turned into cocky smiles. We could take this back. Victory was in our grasp.

The whistle blew again and Asuka took her stance once again, repeating a flawless float serve but messing up the aim. It landed right in their libero's hands and I immediately readied myself for a ball that would likely go to the ace. I was correct, but as she attempted a risky cross shot and landed the ball outside of the court, the referee was quick to call it out as our point.

"Shake it off, Asu-semi. A point is a point." Matsui directed her.

She comprehensively nodded and went back behind the line to serve. We were ahead now, but if we didn't push past their defenses further then we'd just go back to the back and forth routine we had been keeping up the entire game. I suspect that the close call had her a bit shaken up, because I could see she was having to put in extra effort to remain calm. The whistle blew and the calm in her eyes diminished and suddenly remnants of the old and overly panicked Asuka began to resurface.

The ball went up in the air and she jumped to meet it. For the fact that her nerves were just setting back in, her form was still flawless, but something was still off. As her arm swung back and shot forward forcefully, I realized. It wasn't a float serve this time.

Asuka, why are you changing your serve so suddenly?!

And almost immediately after it went up, it shot straight across the court... and into the net.

"Aww, man!" Asuka groaned, her face beaming with disappointment and embarrassment. "I'm so sorry! Forgive me," She turned to her me and Matsui.

"Asu-semi, I don't think Matsui and I are who you have to worry about," I told her, pointing to the manically laughing boy in the far back of the bleachers. "Have fun hearing about this for the next couple months."

Asuka immediately brought her hand to her forehead, leaving a red mark as it left. The timeout whistle blew and small talk time was over. We all walked over to coach for her instruction. Hiraoka was waiting by her side for us, an ice pack in hand. She reconvened with the team for the third set after insisting that she had to be there for emotional support and sitting in the audience simply wouldn't do. I don't really think it helped me all that much though. Once I stepped onto the court, it always felt like a world of its own, and Hiraoka felt like a distant thought.

Matsui rushed over to Hiraoka's side, placing her hand gently on her shoulder and looking over her eye with concern. "How's it feeling, Izumi?"

"The pain is finally starting to subside, but I still can't hardly see out of the dang thing!" Hiraoka quickly pointed her free hand over to me. "Hey, you! I hope you're giving one-hundred and ten percent out there!"

"Trust me, I'm trying my absolute best, Hiraoka."

"I know, silly! I'm just pulling your leg," she teased. "You're doing great, much better than I expected."

Considering I think I'm doing terrible, I don't know how to feel about that.

"Coach, I am so sorry-" Asu-semi quickly started profusely apologizing. "I just knew they would pick up the next float serve, but I thought if I could hit it just a little harder, but I ended up hitting it a lot harder..."

"Wait, you hit it that hard by accident?! Are you some sort of mutant child?!" I interjected.

"Okay, that's just mean." Asuka pouted.

"We don't have time!' Coach insisted. "Semi, you did fine. We have a chance to pull ahead now, and that's all I was hoping for. As for the rest of you, Semi may have gotten this game back to a tie, but you're far from in the clear. We're going to switch back out Semi for Asahina and beef up our back row defense. Their ace is going back up in the front row and Matsui will be in the back."

"Not only that, but after one more rotation, Akiyama gets taken off. If we don't steady our defenses, that ace is gonna have a field day with us," Hiraoka declared.

Somehow I felt like I knew what coach was gunning for. We were low on options and Matsui didn't have nearly as strong defense as she carried raw offensive power, but what she did have was an excellent serve. If we could break the next serve and end their streak, we'll have the ball and Matsui could take back the game by force. Coach wasn't going to say that out loud though, because the truth of the matter was that no one on that court was putting more pressure on themselves than Reiko Matsui.

"I need all of you guys to shake off those nerves and seriously focus in. You can take this. Don't get overwhelmed, and do not let the ball land in your court, got it?!"

"YA!"

Awesome!" Coach Miyazaki declared. "Now get out there and show them the irresistible force of Shiratorizawa!"

"Yes ma'am!"

Timeout had ended and we all walked over to our new positions in the rotation. Stepping onto the court, and indescribable intensity could be felt by all the players that occupied it. It was like entering a new realm entirely every time. Only 12 people could occupy this world at a time, the good guys and the enemy separated by a flimsy net, whether we were the good guys or the enemy varied depending on the different outsiders looking in.

My eyes briefly drifted up to the audience. My mother was sitting adjacent to the student section. I told her she didn't have to come, but she's been here since the quarter finals waiting, watching, patiently hoping that I'd get a chance. Your wish came true, mom. Sitting next to her was Tsuna Ishimoto of all people. Tsuna's been avoiding the volleyball games much like I did last year. Volleyball was a memory she was ready to forget, but she rushed over to the Sendai City Gymnasium in the middle of the third set. My mother had been checking her phone regularly throughout the tournament, so I suppose she was keeping her updated. Tsuna had a queazy look on her face, but her eyes were focused and honed in on the game. Was it because of the familiarity of the court and the heart wrenching emotions it made resurface for her, or was she sharing the burden of the pressure I was feeling? Regardless, she always had a perceptive eye for the sport. She could tell you the slightest details that would give a team or individual player a distinct advantage or disadvantage. She was probably relaying them carefully to my mother throughout the game. On the other side of the audience, Kyotani was still watching intently, now joined by a couple of high schoolers in blue jackets. His face was telling me he wasn't enjoying their company. He'll probably tell them to leave soon. Both student sections are roaring with pride, speaking back to one another in rhythmic chants. So many stories could be told from the eyes of that audience, proud parents and starry-eyed siblings watching, high schoolers watching in support of past teammates and teammates to be. How many people were watching me with hopeful eyes? How many were hoping to watch me fall?

A whistle blew and it was time to expel intrusive thoughts from my mind. I took a calming breath before turning my eyes back to court. It was their turn to serve, and I readied myself for impact, but I knew they'd likely be aiming for Matsui. She was intensely focused, her eyes glued to the ball. Her breathing was shaky but her demeanor was fierce. I looked back over to the ball that was now up in the air. It made contact with the servers hand and shot across the court into the space right in front of Matsui. She hit the ground and dug up the ball, but it it shot off the court far out of anyone else's reach. The scoreboard was now 23 to 22, the opposing team leading once again. Matsui brought her hands to her temples in a look of utter shame and humiliation.

"Hey, shake it off, Captain. The next one is ours," I told her.

She quickly brushed off the bashful look and regained her normally intense air. "One more," she spoke almost silently but with a piercing seriousness.

We readied ourselves for the team to go for a similar strategy, and just as I expected the second serve went straight into Matsui's territory. It was once again just out of her reach, causing an unstable recieve, but this time it shot to the left instead of the right which meant that I jetted off the court to send it back to our front row players to handle. They sent the ball back over, which was picked up by a back row player and sent to the setter. As we intently watched the spikers, we all overlooked an unfortunate possibility.

A setter dump. Dammit!

It was something I should've seen coming, but there was no time to dwell on it. One more point, and the season was over for us. No matter what happened, I wouldn't let the ball touch the ground on our court so long as I stood their. I turned to Matsui and thought to myself, what advice would Hiraoka give?

"Captain, I know your nervous, but try not to worry too much. It's high pressure, but if you can just send the ball high within the court, we're golden-"

"I got it, okay?!" She snapped.

Even now, at the very end of the game, Matsui's personal hatred toward me was unchanging. I knew it that they frustration and exhaustion weren't helping the situation either, but I knew that Hiraoka filled one other highly important role on the team as one of the only people Matsui would take advice from, and without that guidance, it was easy to tell she was a little lost at times.

The whistle blew, and the ball went up in the air. In a lucky mistake the ball went toward my side of the court and I was able to get off a sound receive. Our setter quickly took advantage and sent the ball back row to Matsui, a move the other team wouldn't expect with her not in the center and the ball landed smack in the middle of the opposing court. The ball was now in our hands.

The score was now 24 to 23, the opposing team still leading. If we could just score another point, we could force a deuce, and we had no choice but to aim for one of those right now. Tensions were sky high and the ball was now in Matsui's hands. She could use a cool down, but we were out of timeouts, so all we could do is sit back and trust her to send it over with all the power she could muster.

When I played wing spiker, I profusely complained about my spikes being shut down, but there was one thing I hated worse than spiking. Serving is the one and only time on the court where you are completely alone and the game is all on you, and with it being match point for our opponents, I couldn't imagine being in Matsui's shoes. We were all watching her, hoping to ride her success all the way to victory. She was our last shot, our captain and ace, our ride or die. As the ball rose into the air and Matsui flew to meet it with perfect form, time seemed to move in slow motion, I could see all the eyes watching Matsui. I watched as the ball traveled across the court with incredible force.

There was a second where I couldn't tell where the ball landed but as a white flag raised high on the other side and the referee blew the final whistle, we knew that the ball, much like our luck, was out.

A silence of shock and disbelief washed over the entire team, as the opposing side broke out into a roar of excitement. Of all the ways this could end, a technical mistake by the calculated Reiko Matsui wasn't something I could've predicted, and yet even though it was technically Matsui's mistake, I still felt the tinge of guilt over this loss. I knew well that if Hiraoka was on this court this game would've ended much differently, and I made many mistakes that lost us crucial points. There's also a certain level of emotional support and comfort Hiraoka provides for the team, and I brought with me upset and discourse. Matsui and other players would've been much less off their game with the libero they grew to trust and love. The integral role she played was something I simply wasn't qualified to fill. The way I saw it, this game was lost the second I walked on the court.

*****************************

The aftermath was rough. We left the gym with our heads hung low and sat down in a group out front as we waited for a parents to pick us up. One by one, teammates left knowing that for many of us, this was the last time we'd get to call each other teammates. Asu-semi had spent her waiting time by herself, arms folded in a stubborn posture. She seemed pretty disappointed in herself, but I wasn't really sure why considering she did much better than I actually thought she would if I was perfectly honest. Her brother came to walk her home with a sympathetic but half-hearted smile, but you could see Asuka's eyes immediately light up when he showed up. He seemed... proud, actually.

Hiraoka tried to walk herself home, but Coach and Matsui wouldn't let her because of her eye. We were all really confused as to why she wanted to do something so stupidly risky in her condition until she too began to break out into tears. I'll give it to her, she put up a convincing front during the match, but afterward, it became pretty clear that she had been secretly beating herself up the whole time. I didn't think her injury was something that could be avoided. In fact, I had my suspicions that it was intentional on that ace's part, but Hiraoka seemed to think she could've avoided it somehow. Maybe she could. It was Hiraoka after all.

Coach ended up driving Hiraoka and one of the first years home herself. Matsui had to practically shove Hiraoka in the car, but that was easier said than done considering she was holding back a lot due to Hiraoka's injury. Our numbers began to slim and the awkwardness grew as Matsui and I realized that we were the only one's left. My mother scurried off after the game, saying she had to run some errand and to wait for her patiently, and I did. I had no idea why Matsui was still stuck here, but she was taking the loss particularly hard.

Awkward tension and silence filled the air around us. We were several feet apart, wallowing in silence and shame, waiting for the release of a ride home. Matsui's presence served as an amplifier of my own guilt. I imagine that as the captain and leader of this team, this was more than just another game to her. It was to everyone, but for Matsui it was a culmination of the three years she spent building the mind, body, and soul of this team and all of its players, and what it amounted to was a crushing loss at my hands. I was dead weight on this team, forced into the game by a sad twist of fate. I messed up countless times in places where Hiraoka would've performed with ease. I spent this whole year watching this team become adaptable and dependable and strong, but when I stepped on the court it was night and day. A team is only as strong as its weakest link. Today, I couldn't hold this team together no matter how hard I tried, and Matsui was stretching herself thin trying to do it for me, but as I felt the words of guilt and despair well up in my throat, she beat me to the punch and said something that surprised me.

"Hey, look, I'm-"

"Please forgive me!" Matsui interrupted, her head turned shamefully toward the ground. "I- um... look, I..."

What the hell? Why is she apologizing?

Reiko Matsui was in an extremely uncharacteristic loss for words. Was it the stress and shame that had been building up inside her since our arrival? Or was this personal?

She took a deep breath to collect her thoughts before she picked up where she left off. "When Izu-Hiraoka came to this team, it was the first time I felt like I could breath. I'm not perfect on the court. In fact, I'm far from it. I'm prone to mistakes but I could never afford to make them, and the she came, and I- someone finally had my back. I always knew I could trust her to make up for my mistakes, but when you showed up again with all this new talent and potential, I couldn't bare the thought of her being replaced. Everyone thought I was still mad at you because of what happened during our first year, but honestly, if you had played any other position, I wouldn't have cared, not even a little bit." Matsui took her hands and buried her face into her palms. "I treated you like shit! I made you an outsider, and tried everything I possibly could to get you to quit, and we lost today because I let my personal feelings get in the way of my duties as a captain. I failed you and everyone else."

There were a couple seconds where I just sat there in silence and confusion. Looking at Matsui in this almost pathetically defeated state versus knowing the strong willed and self-assured Matsui I had always known was shocking. The difference was night and day, but I suppose it would be more appropriate to say it was two sides of the same coin, because despite the stark contrast from what I was seeing to what I already knew, this side of Matsui was just as much true to herself as any other. In fact, some might say this was the true Reiko Matsui, scared out of her mind of failure and letting down those around her. There were times where she seemed to present herself as somewhat larger than life. She was enigmatic and hard to read, but constantly stood tall and proud, but today brought the humanity out of her, poking at her weakness and insecurity.

I let out a slight sigh before answering back her apology."I don't blame you at all for what happened in there, and I'm not mad at you for the way you've treated me this year either. I really couldn't care less, and honestly, I think... you shouldn't be so hard on yourself."

"What? No, I'm the captain! I set the precedent for this team-"

"But you're also human, Matsui," I intervened. "Being captain doesn't mean you have to be perfect all the time. In fact, knowing that even you mess up once in a while is pretty refreshing. I'm not gonna lie, that final match is playing on repeat in my head. I keep reliving all the stupid mistakes I made over and over again, and I hate it, but dwelling on it isn't going to change it. What's done is done, and we can't turn back and fix it, we just have to move forward and learn from it."

I could see Matsui struggling to process my words. She had a tendency to give advice but never take it, and I knew there was a good chance she'd disregard what I said completely. Only Izumi Hiraoka was a trusted person in her life to whom she could turn to with these kinds of things, but just as it was during the match, Hiraoka isn't here. I am, and I'm not cut out to replace her in any way, but I sure as hell gotta try.

"I- I was horrible to you."

I let out a slightly overbearing laugh. "I know, but hey! I'm fine. I didn't quit, and you know, because I didn't quit this time, I actually have something I can leave this year being proud of. You pushed me in ways I couldn't imagine, and you thought I'd snap, but by some miracle I actually came out the other end stronger. Didn't plan on that, did ya, captain?"

She too began to laugh all while little droplets fell from her eyes."No, I didn't," She observed. It had seemed that Matsui had reached the conclusion that I had a point. That's a first. "For a second you actually sounded like you were looking on the bright side. When the hell did you learn to do that?"

"I told you, I learned from the best," I chuckled, letting off a bittersweet smile. "Look, I get that Hiraoka and you kinda have bond that can't be imitated, but when we get to high school I'll be your libero. Do you think you can try to give me your trust, at least temporarily?"

"Sure," she said, wiping away the last of the stray tears. "It won't be easy, but... we'll figure this out. What happened today isn't something I plan on letting become a pattern."

That's more like it, Matsui. I felt a sense of relief knowing that our personal problems had finally reached a conclusion. It was good to know we were both in a position to move on from it all. However, she still had one thing to make clear, and so did I.

"But don't think for a second I won't be waiting for Hiraoka to take your place after. You're only there to set the stage for her, understand?" She demanded.

"Sure, whatever," I brushed off. "But don't be too sure that I'll just give it up without a fight. Who knows, Matsui? Maybe by the time she joins us... I'll have long surpassed her."

There was a visible amount of shock and disbelief in Matsui's face. Matsui and I were finally ready to set aside our differences and work as allies but it didn't change the fact that I still saw Izumi Hiraoka as my rival before anything else. This I wasn't planning to change.

"But we'll just have to wait and see until then, won't we?"

She quickly shook off the surprised face and nodded assertively. A car pulled up by the curb and a hand popped out of the window and waved aggressively.

"That's my ride," Matsui concluded. "Anyway, I'll see you in high school, Katsumi Akiyama."

"Until then, Reiko Matsui." I quickly addressed her back.

We gave one another one last nod of understanding before she ran off to her ride, and that was the last time I would see Reiko Matsui for quite a while, but just as I thought the surprises were over I saw two familiar figures exiting the gym having an interesting conversation that caught my attention.

"Man, what a waste," The boy groaned. "I stayed after the boys final just so I could see this incredible libero everyone was talking about, just for her to go and get herself injured. What rotten luck."

Hiraoka....

"Hey, I don't think it was a complete waste of time," The other boy suggested. "I mean, that substitute really gave it her best. She wasn't bad."

"True, she's not terrible by any means. In fact, she has raw physical capabilities and decent technique, but she clearly lacked court experience. I bet she spent the whole season on the bench because of that other libero. At the end of the day, game sense is only something you can learn in a real live match. It's not something you can fake. She had no chance to begin with."

Shame began to sink in one more time listening to his voice. Admittedly, he had a point. Game experience was something I lacked in comparison to Hiraoka, but that alone wasn't what-

"But I doubt that alone was the only reason she wasn't able to keep up. Did you notice when they introduced the teams for the finals?"

"Notice what?" The other boy growled in annoyance.

"Please, didn't you find it funny that their starting libero is a second year, but her replacement was a third year? Does that not strike you as a bit peculiar," he pointed out. "At this age, in most cases it doesn't matter who's more skilled at any certain position. Unless you really screw up... well, as long as you're older than the other kid, you're probably gonna get the spot on the starting line up. For her to get benched for a second year, she'd have to do something really awful to justify that choice. Odds are she's either some sort of troublemaker or she only recently joined the team after the second year. Either way, I was sensing some serious tension from Shiratorizawa as soon as they switched liberos. I suspect none of that team gets along with her very well. Not like us, Iwa-chan. We have an inseparable bond!"

"We do not, Shittykawa! And stop calling me Iwa-chan!"

"Right after you stop calling me Shittykawa!"

And right as they began to pass by me without suspicion, I saw into the big mouthed boy's eyes and saw a familiar look of passion and focus. Tooru Oikawa.

Ugh. To think I was rooting for you last year! How rude. Who was he to psychoanalyze me? Who gave him the right? Sure, he was completely on the ball with everything about his assessment, but still. Who does he think he is? Some hotshot from Shiratori- then I noticed. The jackets he and that other boy were wearing weren't the purplish maroon that Shiratorizawa players sported. I thought he was a shoe in for their team. Why?

"You know, I honestly expected a lot better from them though. It is Shiratorizawa, after all, but I guess the girls team just isn't nearly as good as the guys."

If Matsui were here, she'd probably tell them otherwise in a respectful manner or something like that. But me? No, the blood in my veins was beginning to boil and my body started to shake with rage. That was the last straw.

"You're full of shit, Tooru Oikawa."

The two boys who had just passed me without a second thought quickly turned around at my blunt words that I hadn't intended to say out loud but didn't regret one bit.

The brown eyed boy I had become acutely aware of had a look of confusion that quickly subsided as his eyes locked on me. A quick shiver went down my spine by I plainly ignored it.

"Oh, my apologies. I didn't notice you there."

Of course you didn't. Your nose was stuck up so far in the air I'd almost think you were trying to avoid a nosebleed, but no, you're just a prick.

"I had no intention of hurting your feelings, just a simple observation is all. No hard feelings, right-"

"Talk shit about me all you want but if you think I'm gonna listen to you spew nonsense about the best female team in the prefecture, you're wrong. I'm not gonna take it from you of all people, not from some loser who couldn't even get into Shiratorizawa," I told him off.

He scoffed at the notion. "Why the hell would I want to go there? What? You think that just because you go to some special elitist school that everyone else is just begging and pleading to get in there? I wouldn't touch that school with a ten foot poll, but nothing would bring me more joy than to bring your boys down. I chose to go to Aoba Johsai on my own accord. Don't get it twisted."

Aoba Johsai? I had only briefly heard of that school in a couple of conversations about the high school tournaments and practice games. To me, it was just a name. It had no image or special identity to associate with it. It was a nobody school as far as I'm concerned. Why would anyone choose to go to a place like that?

"And why exactly would you do that? What's so special about this Aoba Johsai?"

"Seriously?" The boy questioned almost patronizingly. "You know, I'd expect you of all people to understand why Shiratorizawa isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"How so?"

"You spent the entire season on the bench, right? I bet you didn't get a lot of help during practices. I'm sure that other libero did. You see, Shiratorizawa believe they can perfect and cultivate a team by building up the individual and then finding the strongest ones. They focus all of their attention on those few and leave the rest in the dust, but after what happened today, you of all people must know that a team is only as strong as its weakest link. When coaches and captains fail to invest in the success of all of their team members, opponents will take advantage of those weaker links when given the chance. Shiratorizawa is built for one kind of player only: prodigies...and I hate prodigies. Get the picture?"

I folded my arms in frustration at his words of observation. He was right, and I knew it. Shiratorizawa wasn't meant for the people without raw natural talent. It was quite unwelcoming to anything else, in fact. I knew from bitter experience. Coach Miyazaki did things a little differently than the other coaches of Shiratorizawa's schools, but even then, Hiraoka did receive much more attention and court time during practice games, court time I could've seriously benefited from. Miyazaki essentially left Asuka Semi to me and Matsui. In general, Shiratorizawa did have a tendency to leave the weak behind, and as I turned my head toward the ground in defeat and realization, Oikawa and his friend began to walk away having said all they needed to say, but the boy with the smart ass attitude and striking look in his eyes stopped in his tracks.   
"I do have one question for you, replacement libero."

"What?" I asked hesitantly, my head still hung low.

"How'd you manage to pull off that one crazy save right after you got switched in? You know, when it flew off the court and you nearly chased it into a bench. You stopped yourself just barely in time, but I'm not really sure how you managed to slow your body down so quickly to avoid getting hurt."

I let out an annoyed sigh. "Honestly, it was a fluke. It was super risky too, but hey, it paid off."

"Sure, but was it worth the risk of injuring yourself? Why go through all the trouble?" He pressed further.

"Hiraoka- our starting libero. She's the kind of person that makes the impossible possible on the court. It's why the team finds it so easy to put their blind trust into her, because she always finds a way to keep the ball in the air. I'm not quite there yet, but if I could convince my team for even on second I was, then it'd be worth it. That's what I thought at least."

Oikawa perplexed in front of me. He seemed somewhat off put- distraught even- by something I said, but I had no idea what it was. "Do you actually still think after making a save like that that you're not capable of the impossible? A word of advice: the second you tell yourself what you can and can't do, that's the second you decide that there are certain barriers you will never overcome. That way of thinking will only serve you as a handicap, so if I were you I'd take those thoughts and put them somewhere far away. You won't get anywhere thinking like that, so don't." Oikawa conclusively instructed. With that final comment, he turned back toward his friend and raised a single hand in the air to wave me off. "Later, stranger. Have a good break."

"Do you have to be so blunt, Crappykawa?"

"Seriously, why do you have to give me such crass nicknames?"

Tooru Oikawa... what's your deal? What's your story?

Thoughts of what Oikawa had said, both negative and positive, circled in my head like storm clouds, overcasting the entirety of my mind. Was the thing that had truly been holding me back this whole time... me? Was I my own biggest obstacle? The more thought I put into it, the more this idea solidified in my mind as the truth, and yet I didn't want to accept it completely. It was so much easier to blame everything else, blame the rest of the world, but if there was truth to what Oikawa had told me that this would keep me from being able to push myself further, then this might be my biggest obstacle yet.

And like a beckoning call of freedom, I saw a familiar car pull up, and the face of my smiling mother through the window. I swung open the car door and sat in the passengers seat unsuspectingly when a small cake was gently placed in my lap. Good Game, the cake read in icing. I turned to my mother who was adorned with a warm smile and felt a stream of tears build in my eyes and fall mercilessly down my face. Something inside of me was telling myself that I didn't deserve this, not the spot on the team, not my place on the court today, and certainly not this very thoughtful cake.

"Hey, hun," My mother addressed calmly. "I know you fought hard today, but the fight is over. I know the outcome wasn't ideal, but I have faith in you. I just know... that you'll come out of this stronger than ever, Katsumi."

Failure can be seen in two different ways: either as a set back and a mistake and nothing more, or as an opportunity to learn and grow stronger. What was failure to me? Would it destroy me or fire the flames of desire for self improvement? Given the choice, would I choose to bend even when I feel like breaking, or will I simply snap. My mother believes in me to make something good out of this. Do I even believe in myself?

"Oh, and- um... by the way, Katsumi?" Mom continued with a sudden change of tone that held a nervous air to it.

"Ya, what's up?"

"So, you know how I've been looking for a new living situation for us..." Mother droned on nervously.

"Of course. Rent and bills are getting really high. You've been looking for options to save money, right? Did you finally find something?"

"Yes, honey-"

"That's great, mom!"

"It is," she replied calmly. "Unfortunately, it'll require us to move into another school district... meaning you won't be attending Shiratorizawa next year."

I felt my heart drop to my stomach in an instant. I wouldn't be going to Shiratorizawa. The announcement felt so sudden and the timing was awful. Just as Reiko Matsui and I were patching things up, I was up and leaving all over again. What twisted luck I have. I didn't have many words left in me. All I had was a simple "oh".

The car fell silent and the ride home was beginning to drag on, and as we past straight by the high school I was supposed to attend, I continued to think about all the possibilities I was going to miss out on. Tsuna. Asuka. Hiraoka. Matsui... would they become distant memories. How could I ever see myself making new memories anywhere else with anyone else? That thought, however, did bring about one more important question.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Yes, Katsumi. What is it?"

"Do you know... what school I'll be transferring to?"

She nodded comprehensively, her eyes still glued to the road.

"Aoba Johsai."

END OF CHAPTER


	6. The Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katsumi and her new team at Aoba Johsai meet the new first years, among them a familiar face who allows her a chance encounter with someone who could provide some valuable clarity and advice.

"Hey, I gotta go, Tsuna. Practice is about to start. We're meeting the new first years today... I miss you."

"I miss you too, Katsumi. We should hang out soon."

I let off a bittersweet smile. "Ya," I responded eagerly, hanging up the phone soon after.

By far my least favorite part about moving to Aoba Johsai was having to leave Tsuna behind. We didn't get to hang out as much anymore, and I always feared that we would grow apart because of it, but much to my surprise, we stayed in touch. We called each other at least once a week during our lunch breaks which just happened to overlap. Tsuna had become more reserved over the years, opting to listen more than lead the conversation. At times, it even felt like Tsuna and I had traded lives. She hadn't gone to a single volleyball game that I wasn't playing in, and even then, you could see her suppressing feelings of bittersweet memories and an innate desire to disappear. I don't entirely know if it was Ushijima who influenced her to distance herself from the sport, but I do know she took a much more practical approach to it than I did. She no longer watched volleyball for the thrill of it. She watched it with an outside lens, analytically picking apart aspects of the game. Emotional attachment was no longer a factor in her perception of it. Admittedly, it was often really helpful. There were times where she'd end up giving really good post game advice because of it. There was even one time I convinced her to watch one of Asuka's games as a third year, and she had some good instructions for her as well, but it wasn't the same as it used to be. Part of the fun of watching with someone like Tsuna was her spirit. She was the loudest in the crowd, the best fan anyone could ask for. That side of Tsuna was gone.

"Is it over?"

"Ya, you can stop groaning like a child, Kyotani," I chastised the roughened boy next to me.

I found when I moved that I had a significantly harder time making friends. I wasn't surprised though. In middle school, I kind of did just attach myself to Tsuna and stick with her. Luckily (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) Kyotani wasn't exactly personable either, and so much like how we became practice partners, we became lunch time companions in the same fashion: out of necessity. I kept him out of fights, and he kept me from feeling like a pathetic loner. Even now, I still wouldn't call us friends. What we were was just... weird. There were days we hated one another, days where we simply tolerated one another's presence, but more often than not we were all we had. I suppose I had the team. Kyotani couldn't say the same. He started ditching practice at the beginning of second year. I tried getting him to go back, but it was no use. He was stubborn as always.

"So, how's the fight to get on the starting line up going?" Kyotani asked almost condescendingly.

"Take a wild guess," I shot back in annoyance. Since I got to Aoba Johsai I'm sure you can guess where my position on the team has been: the bench all over again. I was essentially used to it at this point. It still sucked though.

"Bullshit. You're already much better than Ota, no offense to her. She's only on the starting line up because she's a third year."

"She's not bad. In fact, she's better than a lot of liberos in the prefecture."

"Not you. I'm telling you, if they'd actually let you play, you'd probably rank nationally," Kyotani asserted.

"Really? You think so?"

"Sure. I mean, I did train you after all," He boasted, to which I shot him a harsh glare.

I quickly laughed off his comment and rolled my eyes. "Whatever. I'm headed to class. Is there any hope I'll see you headed to the gym after school?"

"Nope," Kyotani answered plainly.

What is your deal, Kyotani? Why are you being so stubborn about this?

I could try and think to myself what deep and meaningful reason Kyotani had for being so damn difficult, but frankly, I didn't believe he had one. He isn't like Tsuna or Matsui. His emotional attachment to the game only goes as far as seeing out his own improvement, he couldn't care less for the players around him. I was just like that a couple years ago. It was precisely because of that I knew there was no forcing volleyball back onto him. He'll either have to come to realize he actually likes volleyball enough to shove his cocky attitude up his ass, or he'll quit officially. Admittedly, it'd be a real shame if he did quit. He actually has a lot of talent.

"See you later, quitter," I droned, turning away from him and giving a half-hearted wave as I left."

"Ya, whatever, benchwarmer!" He shouted across the courtyard in response.

Touche. Kentaro Kyotani... are we at all alike? If you go back to that team, are you gonna work to make up for your absence, or do you legitimately don't care as you let on?

In all fairness, I have zero interest in giving myself a headache trying to over think it. He was simple... like a Neanderthal. It couldn't have been that deep.

Afternoon practice crept up on me before I could even take the time to wonder what kind of new first years we'd be getting this year. I realized while I was walking myself over to the locker room that this was actually the first time I got greet the new first years as an upperclassmen. I really wasn't in a position two years ago to have anyone calling me their senpai, and the other two years I had to look back on, I was the new first year. This was actually the first time I was sort of expected to take ownership over someone other than myself, and that was a scary thought. Granted, there was Asuka, but she was also largely Matsui's responsibility, and I came to realize that I was, once again, lacking experience I would've had if I simply hadn't quit. Lovely. It's funny how certain mistakes come back to bite you in the ass years into the future. This mistake had not only come back to haunt me again and again, I felt the ping of guilt more and more every day.

I've been avoiding reaching out to Matsui since I found out I would be moving. Though I knew well that this wasn't my fault, I was still fearful that she wouldn't exactly see it that way. For me to have become so attached to this team all over again just to have to up and live by and unfortunate twist of fate was cruel. Our paths crossed coincidentally plenty but never by my own intention did I run into Matsui after that conversation we had after the finals.

Asuka was much less of a phantom in my life. She, Kyotani, and I would meet up at the local gym one or twice a month, not nearly as frequently as we used to be, but I was pleasantly surprised that our unspoken arrangement had lasted as long as it did anyway. She had become much more vocal, particularly with Kyotani. I quite enjoyed seeing Asu-semi express her newly found confidence. Still, I found myself missing her constant presence quite often.

Then there was Hiraoka, who absolutely refused to disappear from my life whether I wanted her to or not (I hadn't decided). We had exchanged emails and Instagrams before I graduated and she craved constant updates, which I reluctantly gave her. However, we didn't meet in person. "I want it to be a surprise just how strong you'll become. I've really enjoyed teaching you, even if you won't be taking that to help Reiko-san, but now that you're moving I've decided. This is how it was always meant to be, Akiyama-san. When I get to high school, you're gonna be the person I'm gunning to beat, so get ready." That's what she said to me when I broke the news that I'd be moving away. I think she had a point too, I mean, since when is it an underclassmen's job to mentor their upperclassmen. Our relationship had always felt bizarre, it felt weird trying to call her teacher and such. The title of rival had always felt right.

No matter how much I tried to hide it, I missed them all the time, every single day. That team had become precious to me. It became home, but the reality was Aoba Johsai was a new home, a new start, a do over.

"You seem lost in thought," A voice whispered in my ear from the shadows of god knows where.

My chest tightened and a shiver went down my spine from the unexpected voice. "Hey, Shishi."

"Hey." She said blankly with a chilling forced smile.

"Why does your face look like that?"

"Harada told me I should try and look more approachable for the first years. She said I should try smiling."

"Uh... maybe try more of a... slight smirk?"

"Okay."

Hoshi Shiraishi, known to the team as Shishi, was the ghoulish spiker among the second years. Fun thing about her is that you never see her coming until she's right up behind you. Makes her a good decoy on the court and nightmare and a half off of it. She's actually very funny and kind, but first impressions? Scary.

"Okay... so, smiling's gonna take a little practice. At least try not to creep up on the first years." A second voice quickly picked up from behind.

"When have I ever done that?"

Harada and I looked at one another with blank expressions. "Oh god."

Ohara Harada, third year vice captain, ace. Spiker.

"You know, Vice Captain, you're not always the most approachable person yourself..."

"What's that supposed to mean? Is there something you're not telling me? Go on. Don't be shy," She pressed on.

"My point exactly," I drone. "Hey, by the way, Harada, do you know anything interesting about these new first years?"

"No idea. To be fair though, they haven't really had a proper tryout yet."

Ya, they didn't really do those here. Here the teams were fairly large, because they took everyone, however, not everyone got to play in official matches and sometimes even practice games. It was a double edged sword of sorts, but it brought in all sorts of characters, like Hoshi Shiraishi and her self proclaimed mentor, Ohara Harada.. They were definitely characters.

"I do think one of the girls transferred from a different district like you did, though. That's always fun."

"I feel kind of bad for her. What if she doesn't make any friends?" Hoshi pouted.

"She'll probably just do what you did. You know, latch onto an upperclassmen from the team?"

"Excuse me?! She's *my* underclassmen. Picked her myself." Harada proclaimed boldly.

Shishi let off a shy smile. "Thanks," She whispered.

"Enough chitchat though. Let's get ready for practice, girls."

"Yes ma'am!"

The three of us finished walking over to the gym and into the girls locker room where our coach, captain, and manager were discussing among each other.

"Ladies. You're early. Congrats! Except you, Harada. You were supposed to be here five minutes ago!"

"Sorry, coach." Harada grumbled.

"Hey, Coach Harada! Do you know-"

"None of the new first years play libero."

I smiled widely holding back a laugh of disbelief. She'd been reading me like a book since a month into first year. "Appreciate it, coach."

"Get, dressed, Akiyama."

"Yes, ma'am."

Aoba Johsai Girls Volleyball Coach Mirai Harada was possibly the best coach I could've asked for. Welcoming, supportive, observant. Calm and collected, nothing like her brash daughter. She was Harada's mother, but I can assure you, Harada earned her spot as ace. In fact, she was the hardest working player on the whole team by a long shot. It might've been a product of having a coach for a mom, but even so, that work payed off in amazing ways. She's a fantastic ace. One that could rival Matsui. I hadn't met someone like that in a long time.

"Katsumi Akiyama, and Hoshi Shiraishi!" addressed the short and bubbly second year who was practically attached to coaches hip.

"Yes, those are our names, Suzuki..."

"We're doing lockers on a first come first serve basis, so go ahead and take your pick from the section reserved for volleyball players!" She beamed.

"Oh, sweet!"

"Awesome," Shishi muttered.

"What was that, Shiraishi?!"

"I said awesome."

"Apologies, I still can't hear you!"

"I said... oh, never mind. Akiyama?"

"She said... awesome!" I quickly translated the incoherent muttering noises that came from Shishi.

"Oh." Suzuki exclaimed. "Awesome indeed, Shiraishi!"

Nozomi Suzuki always had a crazy amount of energy. If she was athletically inclined, she'd probably be an unstoppable force on the court, but instead she is our ambitious manager. Admittedly, she's still very good at it, working like a well oiled machine in constant motion. At times, she reminded me of a certain libero with a can do attitude who wouldn't stop blowing up my inbox. Difference was Hiraoka actually had the capacity to nail herself down to doing one thing at a time.

"Come on Shishi! Let's get this over with before anyone else comes in and tries to claim the good ones!"

"Ya." She agreed with me.

I quickly locked eyes with the top left corner locker, still unclaimed and as close to solitude as one could get in a high school locker room. I made my way toward it but was quickly interrupted by an assertive hand smacking against it. "Sorry, kiddo. This one belongs to good me!"

"I-, yes, captain..."

I turned over to the top right corner, which Shishi had already placed her hands on and reluctantly chose a locker a couple spots away from the captain.

Our captain was a defensive force, a middle blocker with stature and stamina on her side. Ayoko Sano was not the most concerned with winning, but if she was, I guarantee she'd be in the running to be the best female middle blocker in the entire prefecture. Sano was a good captain as well. Her goals were different than what I had been used to from others. Her ambition to win was never at the forefront of her goals, but what she did strive to do was inspire personal growth in all of her teammates, no change was too small to be celebrated. I remember times during my first year where she'd exalt me for the simplest things like remembering to bend my knees. I remember the time she praised Shishi for saying a whole sentence that she could actually understand. Sano wanted to see us not only become better players but better people. It was entirely different than what I knew at Shiratorizawa.

Other girls started to pile in and claim lockers. One by one Suzuki greeted them and wrote their name down. Shishi and I were basically just waiting for the last player.

"Shiraishi, Akiyama, Ota... Hey, has anyone seen Mayu Ota?" Suzuki called out.

"Sorry I'm late!" A figure bursted through the door.

"Oh, hey Ota... I thought you said you wouldn't make a habit of being late this year..." Coach Harada criticized the tardy girl. "If you keep this up, I'll bench you. You know that, right?"

"I'm sorry coach. My teacher held me after class for 20 minutes!"

"What did you do this time, trouble maker?" Sano questioned her.

"Nothing!" Ota quickly defended herself. "It's none of your business anyway." She pouted.

Mayu Ota was our starting libero, a third year with a late streak and a bad rep with teachers, probably because she was late to everything...

Coach gave Ota a look of slight disappointment but quickly shook it off. "Well, that's all of you. Hurry up and get dressed Ota so we can meet the first years. They're waiting for you."

"Yes, ma'am."

Ota threw her hair up into a messy bun and tossed on her practice clothes and the rest of us ran out of the locker room with no time to lose.

"Line up, ladies!" Coach demanded.

We all lined ourselves in order of jersey number (I was 7) and awaited the first years to make their appearances. There were currently 8 of us, We and 5 of those eight were on the starting lineup, meaning we had a sixth spot to fill, as well as a 7th person to switch out with Ota. There were certainly vacancies to fill, and I was very curious about the new candidates for that position.

"Alright, first years! They're ready for you."

4 girls filed in to the gym and lined up directly across from us with faces that were riddled with suppressed nerves.

"I'll go first," the tall girl on the left declared. "I'm Sakura Enatsu! I'm a middle blocker from Yukigaoka Junior High!"

"And I'm Yuriko Fujisaki, also from Yukigaoka Junior High, and I'm a wing spiker!"

"We look forward to working with you!"

Seems they're some sort of a package deal. Interesting.

"I'm Ena Kaneko of Minamisan Junior High. I play setter."

Well, that's good. We need one of those.

"I... am Asuka Semi of Shiratorizawa Junior High, and I am also a setter!"

Wait, who?

I looked over to the familiar name and voice thinking my mind was playing tricks on me, and sure enough Asuka was standing before me, Aoba Johsai jacket in hand. Why would she transfer here, I wondered. She hadn't moved, and her brother was still going to Shiratorizawa, so what gives?

"Hey, Asuka..." I responded to her awkwardly.

"Katsumi!" She beamed. "Guess we're gonna get to be on the same team again after all! That's so exciting."

I looked at her with a look of suspicion trying my best to read her. First of all, I was still trying to piece together why she was here and not Shiratorizawa, and second. She was able to maintain herself with one breath. She was carrying herself prouder than ever. I had noticed the difference during the middle school tournament, but I had always thought she was just getting more comfortable with the people she was familiar with. How much had she actually changed and how badly did I fail to realize it?

"Oh, so you know the silverly haired girl?" Shishi nudged me.

"Ya... we went to middle school together," I answered uneasily.

Shishi's face perplexed. "You seem surprised."

"Definitely," I confirmed.

Coach gave the girls a respectful head pat and then turned back to us. "Now, ladies. Give your new teammates a proper welcome!"

We all looked over to Sano for the timing and she motioned to us to start.

"Welcome to the team!"

"Alright. All of you can circle round, because we're gonna start the year off with a bang. I've got news! Suzuki, if you will."

"Yes ma'am," Suzuki declared, her head held high in the air. "In exactly one week, we have our first practice match!"

"Wait, for real?! That soon?" Harada screeched. "Who's it against?!"

Suzuki and Coach looked at one another with devilish smirks. The hyperactive manager turned back to us and confidently declared: "The Aoba Johsai Mens Volleyball team!"

The gym filled with gasps and whispers as we traded one another confused looks.

"With all do respect coach, isn't that kind of crazy? I mean, the boys are much better than us..." Ota implored. "Like, they have Oikawa, and Iwaizumi... and those other third years."

"Was this their idea?" Harada questioned.

"No, it was mine," Sano interrupted.

We all turned to her with our looks of confusion and skepticism.

Harada turned to her. "When was I going to be informed of this?"

"That's why you were asked to come early." She growled back with a harsh glare.

"...oh"

"Pretty boy and I have come to the conclusion that a little friendly rivalry between us girls and his boys has some mutual benefits." '

"If we only have one week to prepare for this then they're gonna wipe the floor with us," Ota grumbled.

"Then I suggest you prepare to work your ass off so that doesn't happen," Coach scolded her.

Ota let out an audible sigh. She seemed particularly distressed about the arrangement.

"Coach, Captain... I get the sentiment, but that's not a lot of time to work out a starting line up," I chimed in.

"We'll be applying the rules of substitution a lot more loosely in order to allow everyone a chance on the court," Suzuki explained. "Coach Irihata as has already agreed to this arrangement, and is on board with loose application of official rules in this instance."

"This'll also give us a chance to see all of you in action early on. We want to know where you stand, and what combinations of people mesh well together," Coach explained. "With four first years and three upperclassmen looking to fill our vacancies on the court, it's likely the dynamic of this team will change, and we'd like to run a bit of a diagnostic."

"This isn't optional, so you might as well save your breath and don't bother with complaining about it," Sano advised, her eyes sneaking over to Ota with annoyance and frustration. 

"Couldn't have said it better myself, captain," Coach agreed. "Sano, go ahead and lead warm ups."

"Yes, coach. Alright, so we start with some free stretches for sixty seconds..."

*****************************

"Akiyama-san!" Semi called out to me as I left the locker room. "Wait up!"

"Oh, hey, Asuka. What's up?" 

"I just- wanted to tell you how happy I am that we're on the same team again," she exclaimed with a warm smile.

"Ya, me too," I candidly agreed. "Hey, why is that anyway?"

"Oh, ya... I kinda didn't get a chance to tell you. It was a last minute decision to apply for transfer. It's honestly kind of a long story, actually. But I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over to my house tonight. I kinda have a lot I want to get off my chest."

That was a first. Asuka never took the initiative on inviting people to go places, so it must've been really important to her, I thought. "Ya, I'd love to, but are your parents okay with that?"

"Not a problem. My dad's out of town on business, so it's just me and my brother. He definitely doesn't care. You think you're parents won't mind?"

"Probably not. I'll just shoot her a text and make sure though," I answered.

I quickly pulled out my phone and sent the text.

"Sure, honey. Be home by midnight. -Mom"

"I'm good to go."

"Awesome!" Asuka beamed. "Let's go catch a bus, okay?"

"Cool, let's go."

Asuka generously paid my fare and we took a good 20 minute ride to her stop and then walked for another five minutes until we finally reached her house. We left our shoes at the front door and Asuka began to show my around the house. We walked through the kitchen into the living room where and lanky ash-blonde haired boy was sprawled across a futon. 

"Big bro, I brought a friend!"

He let out muffled sound of confusion. "Asuka, I thought you were past the age for imaginary friends, you never bring over... oh, hi." 

The boy quickly picked himself up from the couch and our eyes met for the first time. So this was the Eita Semi that I had heard so much about. 

"Hey, Eita can you keep her entertained for a few minutes. I'm gonna clean my room up a bit."

"Are you sure you can't just-" "Oh I don't mind, really. I-"

Before either of us could fight her on it Asuka rushed off on her own, leaving her brother and I in awkward silence and stares.

He gave an almost forced smile that was unable to conceal the discomfort in his eyes, and I took a deep breath in order to contain myself, but it honestly wasn't working. I wanted to look away and then shrivel up and die of embarrassment but I couldn't bring myself to, so I just stood there stiff as a board, shamelessly staring at the grungy, dull eyed boy whose serious demeanor was nothing like his gentle and sweet little sister. Not only was the stark contrast between the two something to awe, he was admittedly wildly attractive, which was much more of a problem than anything that had to do with Asuka. I felt a sensational heat growing on my cheeks and was silently hoping that Asuka would bail me out of this.

"Umm... you can take a seat if you want," He offered, trying to ease the tension in the room.

"Oh, ya- sure," I replied hesitantly taking a seat on the edge of the right corner of the futon he was laid flat across not two minutes ago.

There was another pause of awkward silence where he just stood there before he sat down on the opposite side of the couch and started to make small talk.

"So, did you and Asuka just meet today? Are you from the team?" He asked.

"Uhh, I am from the team... but we've actually known each other for a while now. We played together in middle school as well."

"That makes sense. She tends to take a while to warm up to new people."

I let out a bit of a chuckle. "Ya, it took her months to even say a word to me, but honestly, she's grown a lot since then," I explained.

His dull eyes began to lighten with intrigue. "Really?"

I nodded aggressively. Very smooth, Akiyama. Great job. "Oh, absolutely," I began to reminisce on the moments before the final tournament and felt a slight smile grow across my face. "Idk if she told you or not, but we used to practice during the summer with this one jerk, and she let him get away with just about anything, but during my last middle school tournament... it's like a flip switched. She told him off so hard and he hasn't pushed around like he used to ever since. She's really strong, actually. You should be very proud."

The biggest, proudest smile grew across that guy's face, one that would've made any girl swoon. I wasn't really sure based on what Asuka had told me about him, but he legitimately wanted to see her succeed just as much as she wanted him to see her succeed, and it was apparent after telling him that story. "You've clearly inspired a lot of confidence in her," I told him. "She adores you." 

"Stop, it's embarrassing..." He quickly brushed off with an awkward laugh. "You know, I think I remember you now. It's Akiyama, isn't it?"

"Uh, ya. How did you..."

"Asuka's mentioned you a few times. She seems to quite admire you as well, say's you're always there to stick up for her. That, and we all remember watching the finals that year."

"Oh ya..." 

"You know, what you pulled off without any proper game experience was impressive. That Izumi Hiraoka isn't the only miracle worker to come from that team apparently," He gassed.

My smile quickly faded into an expression of regret and shame. "Even if it was a miracle it wasn't enough."

That match was long over, but I still felt the sting of that loss every time I though back to it. It was like that one recurring nightmare that would keep you up as a child. Even when you stopped thinking about it as frequently you still felt the fear and disgust you felt as a child when you would recall that dream. The loss was avoidable, especially if the team had been in the hands of someone like Hiraoka and not me, and that was something I knew to be true. 

"You know, for what it's worth... I thought what you pulled off that day was really cool. There's something really special about watching the underdog learn to fight alongside the big dogs." Semi assured me. "Even if you're not proud of yourself, think about the people you inspired. I mean, look at Asuka. She's been carrying herself with her head held higher than ever since that match."

"She did that all on her own."

"No, she did that because she knew she had you to fall back on both on and off the court," He countered. "You made her proud, as well as your coach and your entire team. If the only person you let down was yourself then you've actually got a pretty good tract record."

"Nah, you've got it all wrong," I grumbled. "I let everyone down, including myself. Hiraoka was supposed to be on that court. They knew it, I knew it, and we all knew that things would've bended way differently if she was."

The boy next to me scoffed in disbelief and then turned his whole body toward me, his eyes filled with a blazing seriousness. "Listen. From one upperclassmen slash resident benchwarmer to another, don't ever let some cocky ass, underclass, punk make you believe they're better than you, understand?"

I felt my chest tighten in a nervous and slightly overwhelmed state at the look in his eyes, so calm yet so full of fury. He was confident and self-assured but serious. I understood why Asuka admired her brother so much. I nodded ferociously at his request and felt whatever words I had left to say had been ripped from my throat. I had been forced into a perfect silence by a guy who I hardly knew but whom I was connected to through mutual experience. We were birds of a feather for sure, but it felt like he still had something about himself that I had lost along the way, and in trying to figure that out, I could've sat there for hours. That didn't happen though, because right after I got done nodding like a crazy person for a good fifteen seconds Asuka waltzed back in with an extremely pleased look on her face, like she had accomplished something big, to which I had no idea. I realized that I had worked my way from the edge of the corner of the futon to right around the center, and I had no idea how I managed to get myself that much closer to Eita Semi without him or I noticing, but when I finally did, I shot up from the futon and tossed my hands around Asuka, face as red as a tomato and talking at lightning speeds. 

"Asuka! Itfeelslikeaneternitysinceyouleft. Is everything ready? Are we goodtogo, bestie?"

"All clear," She declared. "Come on, let me show you to my room. Thanks for keeping her company big bro!"

"No problemo, little sis!" He replied with a satisfied smirk on his face. "See you later, Akiyama-chan."

I sensation of warmth filled in my chest and Asuka basically dragged me away and into her room and sat me down. I sat there for a couple minutes dazed and drunk on infatuation. 

"Uhh, earth to Katsumi?"

"You're brother's super cool.."

"Uhuh..."

"And nice."

"Uhuh..."

"And hot..."

Asuka looked at my with perplexity and impatience. "Ew," she spoke bluntly. "Katsumi, you do remember why I invited you over in the first place, right?"

"Umm... something about volleyball?"

"Katsumi-san, we always talk about volleyball." 

"Oh ya... so, I might need a bit of a refresher," I awkwardly admitted.

Asuka let out an audible sigh and pressed her palm into her forehead. "I wanted to tell you why I transferred to Aoba Johsai?"

"Oh, right," I remembered. "So why is that?" I asked bluntly.

Asuka's face turned very serious, similar to the one that her brother had on default. She sat herself onto her bed in corner and took a deep breath before beginning her story. "So here's the thing... my dad and brother and everyone else think that I didn't get the sports scholarship to Shiratorizawa, but... well, I turned it down."

"You did what?!"

"Keep your voice down, Katsumi!" She implored, her eye nervously darting toward the door.

My eyes shot up at her with shock and utter confusion. "Why in the world would you do something like that, Asuka?"

Asuka began to shrivel in place, her fists clenching around themselves as her claw like nails dug into her delicate skin. "Because... they only offered it to me because of my brother." She explained begrudgingly. "I heard the coaches from the high school talking about the upcoming first years and that's essentially what they said. 'She's not great, but if she's Semi's sister' they said. 'If she can get anywhere close to his level, it'd be nothing short of a miracle. She's probably gonna live in his shadow her whole life, poor thing'. I hear people say things like that behind my back all the time. Even my nickname is made to differentiate me from my more notable brother. None of them over at that high school believe that I can be as good as him, let alone surpass him. I can't imagine going to a school and playing for a team where all people are ever going to do is compare me to my brother and talk about how I'll never be as good as him. I've no one believes in me there, how am I supposed to believe in myself?"

Asuka... Who made you believe no one believed in you? Matsui and I believed in you, so did Coach Miyazaki and Hiraoka. 

"Regardless, I do know I'll never be able to escape his shadow if I keep following so closely behind him, and he'll never even see me if I do that either. I have to carve my own path, and so I transferred to Aoba Johsai for a new start, a chance to establish myself as an individual, not an extension of Eita. I'll surpass him by beating the team from his hotshot high school, and then he'll finally see me as a sister he can be proud of."

After that explanation, I certainly understood Asuka's reasons for her last minute decision to leave Shiratorizawa, and I think they were plenty admirable, but from where I was standing, I think her brother was already proud of her, or at least he was starting to be. Maybe she didn't see it that way. Maybe it wasn't enough. It didn't really matter though. She had made her choice, and her mind was made up about it. There was no taking it back for her.

"Well, I think that's a pretty good reason, honestly. Your secret's safe with me," I assured her. 

"I knew I could count on you," She smiled. "Not gonna lie though, I am a little sad I won't get to play with the girls, but hey, at least I have you!"

I let off a relieved sigh. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you, honestly."

"I don't know, I think I get where you're coming from. Must've been quite the adjustment when you moved." 

"It was," I informed her. "It took a while for everyone to warm up to me, but you know, I have the team at least."

"Ya, they seem nice," she agreed.

I smiled. "They're definitely a fun group.... Anyway," I deflected. "You think you're gonna shoot for the spot on the starting line-up. They really need a setter, so it's between you and that other first year."

"She seems... enigmatic. But I'm definitely gunning for the position!"

"Well, good for you," I encouraged her.

"What about you? I'm sure you want a spot as well, don't you?"

"Obviously, but I'm not gonna get it over Ota," I explained with a hopeless groan. "She has seniority. What a stupid concept."

"That blows!" Asuka remarked. 

"Totally," I I agreed. "So... what do you wanna do until I have to go home?"

"Umm, I don't know we could work on homework? Watch a movie? Oh, I can show you my manga!"

******************************

We ended up settling on a movie and wasting away the next two hours until it was an hour from midnight and I knew I needed to be making my way home. Asuka and I were headed out the front door when Eita stopped us on the way out. 

"You taking her home?" He asked.

"Ya, just wanna make sure she makes it there safe," Asuka assured her worried brother.

"Hold on, let me grab a jacket. I'm coming with." 

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"I kinda do though," The older sibling interrupted. "If she walks you home who's gonna walk her back."

I nodded understandably. "Point taken," I said. "No biggie, what's one more person-"

"You know, on second thought-" Asuka intervened. "I'm just pooped. Maybe you should just take her instead."

What?

"Oh, well... sure. Get some rest, kid," Eita agreed.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, not this again. 

I felt a heating sensation rise in my cheeks once again as I realized we'd be alone for a 40 minute commute. Me and Asuka's hot brother, alone. Together. I looked over to Asuka in a nervous panic and she had a devious smile painted across her face, and suddenly I figured it out. She had been doing this all on purpose the entire time. Asuka, you sly taco. She walked off with her chin held high and left with a fake and overdrawn yawn that didn't seem to tip of the brother one bit.

"I'll be right back," The scruffy boy assured me with a slight smile. He rushed off in the same direction as Asuka and I was left alone to let my imagination roam. What was I gonna do? Should I shoot my shot? Should I wait for him to shoot his? I was clueless as ever and prepared to strangle Asuka at our next practice. Sure, he was cute, and nice, but he was also Asuka's brother and went to an entirely different school. The whole thing was impractical and a little weird.

The boy came back out wearing a Shiratorizawa Jacket with the number 3 on it. "Ready to go?" He asked.

"Uhuh," I spoke softly with a nod. 

He opened the door for me and I led him to the bus stop to wait for a ride as he followed close behind. There was a slight breeze outside and the moon was illuminating the night in spastic patterns due to the thin clouds passing overhead. We sat at the bus stop for two minutes before the bus pulled up with only two strangers sitting up toward the front. Eita and I walked on the bus and paid our fare and moved up to the back, taking two seats in the dim bus. We had been essentially silent since we left, an inexplainable energy between us. I had no idea what has going through his mind and he seemed just as clueless. 

"So..." I broke the silence. "How's volleyball going for you?"

He chuckled. "I'm a third year on the bench, take a guess."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

"I'm messing with you," He interrupted my panic. "It sucks, but you know, I still get to be the star once or twice during a game. I am the best pinch server on the team, after all."

"Sounds like you're still holding your head high."

"I try my best," he told me with a bright smile that sent butterflies through my stomach. "'What about you?"

"I'm... also benched."

"Oof," Semi sighed in understanding. "Being benched as a libero basically means-"

"That there's a good chance I won't play the entire season," I bluntly concluded. 

"Ya..." He agreed with an awkwardly hesitant nod. "But you don't seem like the type that's gonna just give up like that."

"I don't see why I should try for the impossible,"

"Why not, kid? You've pulled off the impossible before, haven't you?"

I had brief flash of memory from after the final tournament. It reminded me of the conversation I had with Oikawa. "Do you actually still think after making a save like that that you're not capable of the impossible?" That was what he said verbatim. Even after so long, that idea that I was capable of the impossible still lingered in my mind. I still had yet to believe it, but Oikawa did, and now Eita Semi. Did he have a point? Was what I did manage to accomplish during that tournament something that resonated with more than just myself? Had I inspired people like Oikawa had inspired me during his middle school finals? Asuka, Kyotani, Tsuna, my mother, and tons of other people were watching. Did I manage to reach them without even trying? It was a crazy thought, incomprehensible even. There was still a voice inside my head telling me "don't flatter yourself. You're not that special-"

"Something tells me there's something special about you."

I turned to Eita Semi with a lost look of surprise and disbelief. "Why would you think that?" I asked.

He smiled. "Just a gut feeling." 

I felt that nagging voice in my head dissolve into silence. Semi had stopped its rampage in its tracks. 

"You know, most people are often incapable in seeing their own greatness. Even when they pretend to know it, they still don't. I've met maybe one exception, and still, I think there's a lot he doesn't show on the surface. Regardless, if you ever start putting yourself down, don't be afraid to shoot me a text," he assured me. "Give me your phone."

I handed over my cell and he snapped a picture and typed in a series of numbers and gave the phone back to me and gave me a gentle head pat. "Don't ever be afraid to reach out to me. A friend of Asuka's is certainly a friend of mine."

"I appreciate it," I told him, suppressing the slight disappointment from the insinuation the he considered me a friend. I tried not to read too much into it, but I was soon repeating that one word back to myself over and over again until I realized that it actually wasn't all that bad. There were certainly worse alternatives, and frankly, I could use a friend like him. I looked back outside the window and noticed the familiarity of my neighborhood. "This is my stop," I informed him. 

"Oh, I'll walk you the rest of the way-"

"No need. You can literally see my house from here. Thank you though," I told the boy with a warm smile. 

He nodded slowly. "Ya. See you later, Akiyama."

"See you, Semi."

I ran off the bus before the tension could start to build up and barged through the front door, throwing my shoes off as I entered. I checked the clock. 11:45 pm. Perfect.

"Mom, I'm home!" I called out.

"Thank you! Dinner's in the fridge!" She replied.

"Awesome." I spoke quietly. I threw the leftovers in the fridge and felt my weight lean heavily against the countertop. I felt a sense of relief and reconciliation I hadn't in a long time and I was trying to figure out which sibling I should thank first. Eita, Asuka. You're both so special too. I hope you realize that. 

END OF CHAPTER


End file.
